If you give a Shan a toilet...*

(this toilet knows what it's capable of)

She's gonna want a new floor(without duct tape on it) to seal it to.

If you let her pick out a new bathroom floor..

She's gonna want the claw footed tub painted a fresh new color.

If you are already removing the tub for flooring..

She's gonna want you to go ahead and take the cabinet with the mauve countertop out too.

Since you are changing the color scheme this much already...

She's gonna want to paint the whole room.

While shopping for a tiny patch of flooring and new paint, Shan's gonna see the carpet samples....

Then, she's going to want to use your tax refund to get new carpet in all the rooms upstairs.

But, while cleaning the dingy base boards...

She's gonna want to paint the trim in each room.

Painting the trim is going to be so easy without worrying about making a mess on the old floors...

She's gonna decide at least one more room needs painting.

With all the room rearranging, painting, and garage sale gathering and sloughing going on...

you'll somehow end up with another set of bunk beds. (???)

So alas, what is the lesson we all learn at one point or another in our lives...

Replacing a toilet can be QUITE an ordeal!

A guilty Grinch grin is forming across my face as we speak.

Kinda reminds me of the time I needed a new oven...

* This, of course, is a play on the well known Children's book 'If you give a mouse a cookie..'

IT'S A MAJOR AWARD!

Yesterday we received a paper invitation, printed and folded into quarters home-made-card style. It said:

Dear Parents,

You and your family are invited to attend the awards night for the youth's writing contest given by the [Our town] Writers. Your child, or children, will receive a certificate along with the prize money.

"Your child, or children, will receive a certificate along with the prize money"? What? One or BOTH of my children will receive THE prize money? I'm confused.

Why can't I understand the writing of the Writers Club?

So that happened yesterday. And tonight, the kids and I went to the Senior Citizens Activity Center as requested on the invite, instead of going to see Jamey play music in Fayetteville as we'd planned.

It's a good thing we did too because my boy won FIRST PLACE in the Prose category with his story 'The Golden Manatee'. This was a contest he entered totally on his own volition from a flyer he saw at school! Isn't that neato? He had to write a short story beginning with the sentence "The door was closed."

What fun for him to be rewarded for something he really enjoys doing!

It's so thrilling and strange to see your children grow up into their own- bageck- (sorry-losing my cool a little bit there) independent selves. He's such a wonderful newly twelve year old and we do love him so...and not just for his prize money.

Have a terrific Easter weekend all!

Slap those thighs

Not a morning person? Then you are sure to have kids who are.

Who needs coffee really. Oh yeah...me.

Simple Cooking Failures(episode two)

It's time for the second installment (second verse-lamer than the first) of a little segment I call Simple Cooking Failures. It lacks spunk and luster due to the particular circumstance of the failure itself, but I'll share it with you anyway.

Here's the birthday cake completed to the best of my ability at 4:00 in the morning. Good thing Ratchet is so easy to please. He knows my heart(and hopefully not my hair) is in it.

Funny, I thought that yellow brick was a sickening flesh color last night. This is a nice surprise. Ahh, but I got it done-and plenty early it turns out.

The party is now set for Friday (three days away) due to three sickly cousins that couldn't come today. Wah-wah. It just wouldn't be the same without them.

NOW, I'm feeling like a genius for using Crisco in my "buttercream frosting". What foresight-what planning! I wrapped it up tight and it may taste even more authentically LEGOlicious(like plastic) by Friday. I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Sleeplessness makes me so sunny. Now if I could just get this fluffy cloud feeling off of my face I could truly shine.

Night nighZZZZZ....

Cat tells

The other day I went outside and came upon a cat,

who sat upon my lap.

Then another happened along,

and it soon became a throng....

(My back fence this very morning)

Ok, so I'm back to the blog after a brief hiatus. I told the facebookers a couple days ago that I had rushed inside and jotted down some things I've been pondering about cats (Yes, I DO realize that sends up a freak flag with a paw on it, but I'm ok with that.) And, since that brought out a few of my fellow cat loving freaks friends, as well as a few that just enjoy a side show- I figured I'd share.

It wasn't really a list of questions to be answered by other cat "enthusiasts" (That sounds better right?), but more a batch of thoughts pertaining to cats that might be better expressed in the Jeff Foxworthy way. So here were my passing cat fancies:

You might be a Catlady if....

...you seriously ponder purchasing a 3ft. tall rod iron cat shaped plant holder from a store called "Oops!"- though it is quite clear you are not a "plant person".

... you coax a cat you've never seen before over to you, then let it lay on your lap for thirty minutes while it kneads it's claws into your wrist.

...you look deep into previously mentioned cat's eyes as it adores you, and wonder if it could possibly be an angel sent in this form with a special message just for you. Then you wait a moment for it.

...on your wedding day your friends and family all make a pact to not tell you about the incident involving the cat in the parking lot of the church.

...you yell out "Kittee!!" into the darkness only to realize you may have been talking to a decorative rock in someone's yard.

...you have a "great idea" of what to stencil on your cork board, but are reminded with a sigh from your husband that this particular room already has at least thirteen other pictures of cats in it.

...once upon a time you looked in the mirror and regularly saw a resemblance between you and your cat Tigger.

...your current pets also remind you of him.
And finally, you might be a Catlady if you can come up with such a list about YOURSELF!

Have a purrfectly splended weekend! Meow.

Just Illin' and cold chillin'

First signs of life: Day two-the orneriness returns.

And story time humour for couch bound youth:

And finally, when your sick you can sleep most anywhere.

Be warm and well fellow bloggers!

(Facebookers click on 'View original post' for videos)

Lava: It's not just for video games

Here's a little experiment for the scientifically minded folks in the audience (read: grandparents and cousins). Ratchet had a much anticipated school project due to erupt this week, so of course we took some snaps and did a little trial run before hand to get a feel for the explosive power we were working with.

Here is the volcano in it's dormant state. The natives are busily going about their lives completely unaware of what's brewing at the base of this beast.

Here's Ratchet proudly standing behind his volatile creation.
And here's our practice run the evening before the natural disaster was to take place.

Speaking of natural disasters, you'll catch a glimpse of our torn up kitchen in the middle of its makeover. It's not an attractive sight right now but I am using my swanky new stove and microwave-which helps keep me chipper sans countertops. OH, and please turn the sound down if my constant noise gets bothersome during the pre-eruption. I am annoying! Here's what happened to his actual volcano at school on Thursday. Yay for extra credit!

(p.s. Any young kids (or middle aged men) who want to make your own version: We forgot to mention that we also added a couple squirts of dish soap to create a foamy effect ;)