Get thee to a big cit-ee!

Man!  Oh man!  I have lost all hope in my small town's ability to keep me youthfully yet tastefully clad!  I went to most of the stores in Siloam yesterday hoping to find one (just one?) wicked cool but conservatively classic short sleeved shirt to wear tonight on my big date** with my betrothed.  I came home empty handed and despondent.

I decided early this year that I would make a conscious effort to dress my age and not commit all of the usual hot weather fashion felonies that temp my inner exhibitionist to get her skin on!!  I DO SO LOVE to hang my arms and legs out of their cloth containers the second the breeze turns to blaze!  It is only natural to me.  I love to bake in the sun and fine tune my freckles to the point that if you stare at me and let your eyes go jiggly out of focus, I look the same Coppertone shade as my hair.  

Having been born in Oklahoma but not knowing anyone from my previous bloodlines, I always like to think I have at least a little bit of Native American in my skin.  My Grandma being part Chickasaw, always assured me of this possibility-no doubt to keep our differences at bay and me feeling ever included in the family tree. 

 As I got older and was in charge of my own skin care, I cleverly discovered (many blisters and one skin cancer later) that fake Indian blood or not, I'd better get  myself a big bottle of sunscreen and consider sitting under an awning at the pool when possible.  A move incredibly played with only 6 or so years of college under my belt.

But it was only until recently that I have decided that this sun damaged and now aging skin of mine might need to be covered up a hair more to preserve its dignity by showing less of its polka-dottery.

Oh but I grieve the cuteness of maude fashions!  No more will I allow myself that too short of skirt or those daisy duke length summer pants.  I will NOT entertain a sassy strapless shirt alone.  No.  Not this summer.  I will soon be thirty-blipping-nine and it's time to lose the pigtails folks!  It just is.   

So, out I went to find sleeves and style together as a happily wedded match.  But they were clearly off honeymooning in a much larger city because this pair was nowhere to be seen.  I saw all kinds of teenie bopper trends in all kinds of teenie bopper tininess!  This will not do.  No, not for me. Oh, and BRIGHT colors.  Boy are they ever bringing out the fluorescence of my yesteryear (Ouch!  is that a migraine coming on?).  Bright! It's so Bright!   

I was glaringly forced over to the Misses (Matrons?) department where it seemed like loose and flowing was all the rage.  Hey!  I'm not pregnant!  And in fact I'm certain I won't become that way ever again so why is that....Oh, I get it.  You people seem to think I've given up on the figure watch and have settled into the old mid-life spread.  NO!  of course not!  I have in fact taken several vigorous walks recently that go right in the face of that old argument-so there!!! [Spudder, spudder, shaking finger at the air eyebrows raised]

And here I sit now in my indoors only short shorts.  I'm still hopeful that there are some clever looks awaiting my discovery just inside the city limits of Fayetteville or Rogers, but I'm prepared to go even further if I have to.  I'm not giving up on this vain but also considerate quest to dress myself.  We will all be better for it in the (fully covered) end.  

**More on this topic later.