Giddy as a schoolgirl who skipped out on math class

(Cue: sporty sounding triumphant music)

Decision '08!!! Here on this fateful day, well a few days ago really, in August, my decision regarding THIS particular school year has thus far been made!! 

 Yes, after much mulling over and uber-much transcript scrutiny. I HAVE DECIDED TO RETURN TO SCHOOL. 

 (crowd cheering sounds go up as music dies down) 

What I decided on is a multi-leveled plan including a group of dependent variables that would be allowed to unfold as this great experiment, here on out to be called "The Reschooling of Shan (TRS)", begins...ahem...again.

(cheering sounds now fading into dissappointed sigh)

Right!  So, as I was saying, this plan has several parts to it, therefore allowing me to work on it in sections.  This is helpful for several reasons.  

One being that I can accomplish small goals all along the way and give myself little reassuring pats for each separate goal achieved.  "That a girl Shanny Shan!  Look at YOU!  Who needs a treat?"

A second reason small goals are helpful is that my plan would more easily allow for those pesky little life happenings (i.e. limb breakage, spousal job change, or new fickle fancies that decide to reveal themselves amongst the daily grind). 

(Huh?  Fickle?  She must have said "pickle" because surely she's not bringing back that old excuse.)

And thirdly, if my second reason only counts as one, I'll be able to pause after phase II of my  plan and re-evaluate if more schooling is the goal or if I will be able to work happily with the choices opened up to me from phases I and II.  

(What are these phases and why is she taking so long to get to her point)

And since I just heard "phases mumble mumble long mumble mumble", maybe I should just type out my plan to have as public record.

Phase I-Get school rolling

After having three interesting part-time jobs waved under my nose, I realized something fairly important that I keep forgetting:  Most jobs go through summer and I am not willing to work at something this summer that doesn't further my eventual goal of getting a permanent interesting job.  My kids are small and I want to enjoy summers with them as much as possible.

The next thought was, I might as well be in school.  It would have been good to realize this a drop earlier, however, as the classes I need were full once I was admitted. So algebra and biology are on hold until further notice-Whew, I mean, rats! 

While enrolling and researching the possibility of getting in at the local RN school, I overheard an advisor say that one's chances were slim to none if applying to their Nursing program with anything less than a 4.00.  Now, I'm no dummy.  But I WAS when I racked up around 100 hours of moderate to hideous grades back in the day. And even as much as I have avoided taking statistics, I know there is absolutely no way if I made A's from here on out that my G.P.A. would be anything close to the perfect I need.  

So...new plan in a nutshell(has she ever seen the actual size of most nutshells?). Get my L.P.N at the tech school.  And then either stop there and work, or take the classes needed for my B.S. in Nursing and go straight into that program.  With my L.P.N. I can somehow bypass all those other smart students and get right into the university's program!  Of course that's a much longer prereq. list but well worth it if I want that elusive R.N. as well as the equally elusive bachelors degree.  

('Course I may be dead or in the circus by then.  Only time will tell.)

Phase I (revised)-get certified in whatever you can.

Ok, the new phase 1 will help me to get into the new program I am wanting to pursue.  I'm relicensing myself as a Registered Dental Assistant (RDA) at my previous employers office.  He has kindly agreed to order the testing materials for me and proctor my dental test.  I think this will be cake- but I'll study as to not be overly cocky.

Also, I have enrolled in Healthcare providers C.P.R. at the tech school so that I'll also have that up to date.  

Having both of these will give me two points on the admittance form for L.P.N.  The more points you have, the more likely you are to be admitted into the program.  Fortunately I have years of health related experience that count, and and a great highschool GPA.  Points for me!  And I get to count my years of college as well.  Points a plenty there.  

That brings us finally to the next phase.

Phase II- L.P.N. school

This will take about 20-25 hours of class time per week for nine months to 1 year.  Highly doable.  This summer will be a sacrifice toward my end goal so it should be worth it to pay a babysitter while away at school.

Phase III- Decide to keep schooling or start working

 I could do lots of interesting things with this certification including:  Being a school nurse(with summers off and good hours for fam), working in a doctors office(where I can secretly diagnose people all day long), work at the new hospital soon to be built in town.  Lpn's make more than dental assistants. Especially now that there is a nursing shortage.

On the other hand, if I'm still up to it, I could do two more years of Nursing school once I have all my prerequisites out of the way.  An equally daunting and rewarding final step.

So, that's my official plan.  Hopefully I don't just stop once I get my dental license and work again.  But, if we move and I have to work,  I'll be alright with that too because of my "Small Steps to Success(SSS)" experiment, or whatever I was calling it earlier.  

How does this sound to you guys?  You can just say "HORSE HOCKY!" or you can elaborate and tell me what circus to join.  I just like to hear from you! 

Blogging is as blogging does

Well I'm back at the helm of my computer, but don't have enough time today for a picture-filled report on my week because I simply must find out what you guys have been up to. In the meantime, I came across this little blog evaluation device over at Scout's place and I thought I'd see how I am measuring up in the blogosphere. Here's the litmus test that will tell me just where I, Shan, stand in my personal journey toward intelligence. 

Now let's just push this button here and see how clever I am at spinning a yarn. Oops, wrong button, hold on a minute. Ok, and there. Now for my hopefully impressive results....

TV Reviews

WAIT a sec. Are there many levels below this? Aren't people only beginning their journey into reading in Elementary school? Why, it seems as though I can barely write my name without spellcheck intervention! Who's in charge of this test? I want a recount! That's it. 

Well, I guess I have been told I should write poems for children. I was thinking that was a compliment at the time. But perhaps since I wasn't writing particularly for children when it was suggested, it's possible it was in fact-not flattery. Guess I need to start beefing up on the vocab. But, I so prefer to make up my own words, and that might take up even more of my precious chair sitting time. I don't know maybe I'll just keep writing for the common man (or child) and leave the tougher stuff to you higher fallooten folken. It's words like those that got me this fine rating isn't it? Ah well, just keepin' it real all up in here. 

Stay tuned for some primary school level photographs and updates about my week in Oklahoma City. I'm sure it will be worth every bit of simple minded time you have alloted for yourself on that day. It's good to see you again blogroll buddies! TTFN!

A Mid-year Evaluation of My Personal Smartering Journey.

I'm a little disheartened today as I write this for it seems I've had a slight setback in my progress.  What progress you asked? 

Well, it all started at the beginning of the year when I bravely resolved that this would be my YEAR OF INTELLIGENCE!!!(igence, gence, gence) And it seemed like things were going along well enough.  There were no glaring problems anyway. 

•  I have done a complete and thorough Bible Study(Good good, that means I am moving toward my goals of Biblical knowledge.  But not pridefully mind you-no never that.)
•  I have decided NOT to point out everything I don't know in passing conversation,  but instead just nod sometimes like I'm thinking and filled with opinions on the topic.  This may not be intelligence per say, but it's being more intelligent looking which will help any actual gained intelligence be more credible later.  Sounds smart doesn't it?  I know.  Oops, I'm over in the pride camp now-drat.
  
• I have been working toward figuring out my own personal abilities (i.e. encouragement, marketing, clowning for the young-I knew that workshop would come in handy one day, empathy-so sorry you have to endure this post, volunteering to help with stuff, losing weight by muscle atrophy due to not eating and/or moving as often).  AND THEN utilizing those abilities in my daily life, rather than always striving to have someone else's skill set (i.e. organizational talents, getting up at dawn, thinking nice thoughts in the morning, loving to garden, understanding politics, being a "hottie" with ripped abs- etcetera) you get the point.
• Watching WAY less television and listening to entertaining if not ALWAYS educational podcasts on my Nano instead.
• My favorite new smartification this year has been having a blog!!!  Of course, that comes with all the pitfalls of wasting huge chunks of my book reading time. But reading your exciting blogs and writing my own silly one has in fact made me just a tiny wee bit more intelligent! Yeah!  That's progress baby! 
  

But then today as I was trying to "shop smarter" by avoiding Wal-Mart and all its pitfalls of money sucking temptations, I think I did something wrong.  I've been enjoying running by BRAUM'S(an ice cream and fast food restaurant chain) for their hormone free milk and eggs for a while now.  Then they expanded their store to include one produce/meat aisle and one more tiny freezer then a couple shelves of bread, cereal and chippies.  This all sounds perfectly harmless and even convenient for a drive by situation.  But apparently people don't go there for their entire grocery load.  I got a cart and filled it with several meals worth of items, all the while patting myself on the back for the uncharacteristic speed in which I was gathering groceries.  

Then, I turned the tiny corner to the checkout station and started laying out my food.  The store manager came over and excitedly said "Have you heard of our special?!"  I said "No."  And she proceeded to tell me that with a $20 dollar purchase or more, and I was surely going to hit that mark, haha, I would receive a FREE ice cream accessory product.  A what?  She explained that meant popsicles or nutty bars or something.  Not a tub of ice cream, but an accessory that would look nice with(?) it.  

"Ok." I smiled and went to grab an accessory.  Then she finished ringing me up and her eyes lit up like she had just pulled the lever on her cash register and hit the jackpot.  I strolled over, nutty bars in hand, and went for my debit card, when she had another epiphany right there in front of all of us.  I had just bought the most groceries in a fast food restaurant that she had apparently seen someone purchase in her few months as manager.  She said "WAIT A MINUTE!  You are allowed a free ice cream accessory product for EVERY twenty dollars you spend here!  I suddenly realized I  needed to go pick out three more accessories for an entirely blinged out fleet of paper grocery sacks full.  

Now that she too had counted up how many  treats I had earned with my 7 minute shopping spree, the nice lady was beside herself with thoughts of sales awards and promotion.  She rushed over to the freezer section and started telling me all the combinations I could get and what they were worth.  I accepted one of the combinations after she stressed how entirely $free$ they were, but at this point I was actually getting a little shocked and embarrassed.  

I felt like spotlights were on me and confetti had just fallen from the ceiling tiles from the extravagantly UN-clever way I had just bought all my groceries at a FAST FOOD JOINT! 

 Oh, the shame I felt as Joyce-I knew Ms. Manager by name now- summoned an ice cream scooping young man over to help me with my sacks and sacks of her grateful merchandise.  As she handed me my receipt, she gave me a full eye contact locked gaze and said "We surely appreciate YOU".  What could I say back but how much I felt the same(But thinking "What on earth have I done.  And where did all of these balloons come from."). 

This scene didn't have an intelligent feel to it at all.  In fact, I was shaken to the core as to how "last year" this type of behavior surely must be for me.  

Once I thought it out though, I did have quite a few meal options and other than the ice cream bars and the impulse Cheetos purchase (that no doubt took me over the edge into the fourth free accessory item), they were all fairly healthy. 

 And if I were at Wal-Mart, wouldn't it have taken me that earlier 7 minutes to park and enter the building then another hour of zoned out strolling through each department getting a lot more of basically the same stuff in lesser quality?  Maybe. Yes. But why wouldn't I run into other budget conscious people whilst shopping at Braums if this were true?  Yep, that's what I thought.  Not too real intelligent now is I?  Ah well, it IS a process?  Now.  Who'd like a nice cold accessory?  I have plenty!