Thursday, September 24, 2009

Object betrayal

I was traumatized by my medical supplies last night and I wanted to share it with my lovely readers today as it reminded me of recent incident that happened to another thumb I'm fond of.

Warning: This post contains some material that may be too graphic for some.
Please read with caution or avoid all together. :}

Were you too busy looking at his sweet face to see this?

On a recent trip to OKC to visit my parents, Monkey Fingers McGraw(a.k.a. Dandy) got himself into a little scuffle with a stapler.

My mom, Dandy, and I had just popped in for the briefest visit to her office for troubleshooting (or something I can't now recall), before heading off to do our favorite form of geocaching-shopping!

Instead, as you can see, Dandy immediately fired a staple into his finger and then began screaming one continuos shrill note that lasted without breath until I airlifted him out of the office and into the car. (Need your workday spiced up? Call on us.)

Now, I've stapled my thumb before as a child, perhaps you have too. Normally, this type of wound is quickly taken care of when you pluck the thing out, daub it off, and get a band-aid topped with a kiss for your troubles. Because this was a stapler that is used to dealing with insurance claims, that thing fired with the tenacity of a tail gunner and went straight into my baby's little thumb bone and it was not coming out!

So with an ER visit, an x-ray,one hemostat, and a trip to the pharmacy for antibiotics, our "brief troubleshooting" errand had a lot more trouble and shooting in it than we'd bargained for.

Now, back to me.

I wear an insulin pump that uses infusion sets that have to be changed every three to four days. The ones I use have an inserting device that is extremely spring loaded and tends to "insert" the plastic tube coated needle with a lot of force. (Still with me?)
I've hired this male model to show you what they look like. We'll call him Mylan.

Thank you Mylan for that tiny thumbnails worth of ab you've given us. Next time bring no less than an 8x10 if you want consideration! VERY disappointing sir!

Anyway, I had my spot picked out and was pinching up some skin for the needle that goes in at an angle almost parallel to the surface skin.(Notice Mylan's other hand was well out of frame). I fired it in and got a pain in my thumb that felt like the wide plastic coated needle had poked me and rammed right into my nail on the other side of my thumb! That's because it did.

I said "OUCH!" which sometimes I say anyway, but this time I kind of yelled it indignantly. Then I looked down to find that not only had I failed to get my port inserted properly, I had managed to shoot the two inch needle into my stomach, out through another place and then into my thumb all at the same time!

It totally bruised my thumb and my feelings as well when I realized I'd been shish-kabob-bed by my own "user friendly" device.

After daubing my wounds and inserting a new site, I laid down to go to sleep and could feel that my face was still frowning. I have been known to feel sorry for myself when I get fed up with the ins and outs of stupid Diabetes(like the time when I looked down with a syringe in my mouth and stuck myself in the boob). But, this was a different feeling, like a betrayal of trust between me and an inanimate object. That's strange.

I know that actually it was just a simple case of user error like Dandy's stapler incident (and, yes, my accidental boob injection). And, in the end I found myself saying the same thing he said while holding up his freshly stapled thumb.

"Ohhh, I shouldn't have done that!"

No, you really shouldn't have.


Anonymous said...

So I guess I'm the first to comment on the multiple stab wounds incident-only you can make a painful event seem amusing-xo-m

AfricaBleu said...

CRAP, Shan! There was no singing whilst jabbing--that was your big mistake.

Great terrible story.

Trish said...

OK, I am literally squirming in my seat as I read that. I had to stop when you began to tell about shooting the needle all the way to your fingernail...

Oops...I passed out a little there. I'm back. I love you but I'm leaving now... You'll have to do better than Mylan if I'm going to read stuff like that :-)

Shan said...

OH DEAR! I knew I should have put a disclaimer on! Sorry Trish! I'll add one at the top. :( (The other Trish can't handle graphic talk either and I knew better.)

Bekah said...

This was all minor compared to my week last week! I am sorry Shan! Looks like his thumb is healing though! Tell him to get better soon!

Shan said...

I KNOW BEKAH! Oh yes, these were both quite mild from the recovery standpoint-just not fun at the time.

Hope your boy is feeling much better this week!

Sun-Kissed Scholars said...

Oh holy cow, Shan!! I'm with Trish, I could barely read. I was frowning and ducking for your sake. And then I couldn't stop laughing. I'm sorry, but you are so stinkin' hilarious. The boob injection... my gosh, I've done it with a sharp pencil before and that was bad enough.

Poor dandy and poor you!!

Btw, I love that you actually have tags for incidents like this. Really, how often do these things happen to you? ;-)

Maria said...

Must be a run on bad thumb karma lately. Liv was rushing off to school this week, jumped out of the car and somehow managed to slam her thumb into the car door. Thank God I didn't zip off as I have done many, many times. Perhaps it was her screaming that stopped me.

One of the secretaries in my office is Marisol. She has 5 children under the age of ten and they are all um...pretty rambunctious. Sometimes her husband brings them ALL to the office to pick her up and it is like hell on wheels here while they are here. We have had shoes flushed down the toilet, a costly Monet doodled on with a magic marker and recently, yes, her four year old son attacked his six year old brother with an electric stapler and managed to imbed one in his thigh. I think the sound of this child's screaming is still reverberating in the walls. (He was one of the lucky ones who just had to have it plucked out!)

Hope that sweet little boy of yours feels better soon. Ouch. And you too. Believe me, I totally understand the woes of Diabetes. But, you know that.

Fifi said...

Shan !!!! Your family and spikey things are not friends at the moment!
That was hectic !!

dive said...

Poor Dandy and poor Shan! That was excrutiating just to read.
Brr …

Jamey Clayberg said...

my poor peoples and the pokey things... boo

Scout said...

Oh Shan, I'm sorry you have to go through that sort of thing. And poor Dandy.

I do hate that feeling of "I shouldn't have done that" because, of course, once it's done, it's done.

Katie said...

Yikes Shan!! What a story. I hope everyone is feeling better now. I sure won't complain the next time I get a paper cut at work.

savannah said...


ok, tell me y'all are ok now. i'm still cringing at the thought of all that pain! xoxox

Suzanne said...

Just going to echo what Trish wrote...I would have been no help in either situation. Room spinning.

dean r said...

such a great post. ahhh you clever writer you! PLEASE be careful cause I care for you my dear friend! ahhhh , and little dandy too!

ness said...


We have to be friends now because my mom has a pump and I can picture this whole scenario in my head, which resulted in my laughing my head off.

And my child has a weirdo-finger after I accidentally closed it in the van door.

I'm smitten, I tell ya.