Monday, September 12, 2011

OHHH Life bigger.
Bigger than you
And you are not me.

..But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream

When the day is long,
and the night, the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.
Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, Lord,
Count your blessings.
The papers wouldn't lie!
I sigh, not one more.

It's been a bad day.
Please don't take a picture.
It's been a bad day.

I've got R.E.M. running through my head this morning for some reason so I looked them up and smashed some songs together. I never really realized how sad and depressing a lot of their songs are. [Thoughtful pause] Still cool though~very cool indeed. And apparently they knew what was really going on-a bunch of sad stuff you just can't do much about.

Well, it's the end of the world (and R.E.M.) as we know it. But I feel fine. (fine, fine)

Okay, I can't stop. Since my brain IS 80% song lyrics, I guess this is to be expected.
I just can't get out of my head how rough times have gotten for most of my loved ones lately. Where are all the lighthearted sitcom circumstances? All the shiny happy people laughing? It's hard to find it amid the job loss, money lacking, sickness and death we've been seeing around here lately. If there's comedy, it tends to be dark or short lived.

Hold on.

This is not the kind of change we were hoping for! (Oops, that was campaign slogan banter, sorry.)

Back to the jumble in my head. I'm starting to wonder if the Lord is allowing more people to pass away so fewer are here to worry as even harder times come. Or is the crowd only thinning lately from my perspective? My aging self.
This weekend as we watched a dear cousin suffer a fatal heart attack during our yearly Red Rock Canyon reunion, I found myself thinking "And now, of course, THIS is happening." I didn't feel surprise-just more sadness. More grief for those suffering.
Why does praying not seem like quite enough?
If I thought latch hooking a rug would help in these times of grief, by gum I'd be turning out tacky mats by the dozen! I just don't seem to know what to do with myself to aid in this pain. I guess I'll just have to keep praying and work on being a blessing to others rather than a burden(says the dramatic high maintenance diabetic.)

Consider this, consider this:

Everyone around, love them, love them.

Where tomorrow shines, gold and silver shine.

Throw your love around.

Happy, happy.

And on that note:

This one goes out to the one(s) I love.

(My apologies to R.E.M. for what just happened.)



MmeBenaut said...

Shan dear, I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin. And yet, every time I hear of a fatal heart attack, I think that that must be just so much better than a long drawn-out illness where one becomes sicker, weaker and sadder with each passing day. Praying does help, so does listening to sad songs, and if you cry, that's ok because it releases the pressure on you. Many, many hugs from way down here for you and your family.

Shan said...

Thank you so much Mme. It was very shocking. We were actually grateful that he was surrounded by family and at one of his favorite places when he passed away. My grandma said she hopes to go in the same manner. I got to spend some one on one time with her (she's 93) which was so nice considering the big reminder that we just never know when our last moments will be. :)

Maria said...

Shiny Happy People just makes me move all over.

Not always a good thing.

Carolyn @ The Mobile-Homemaker said...

Oh this was a lovely reminder, Shannon, despite the sad circumstances that propelled you to write it. So sorry. I was just driving home from a weekend at my parents and was overcome with sadness of that eventual day. You know which day. THAT day. And this is just what I needed. Thank you.

Carolyn said...

Please start writing on this again.

Yours truly,