OHHH Life

....is bigger.

Bigger than you

And you are not me.

..But that was just a dream

Try, cry, why try?

That was just a dream

Just a dream, just a dream

Dream

When the day is long,

and the night, the night is yours alone,

When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on.

Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes

Broadcast me a joyful noise unto the times, Lord,

Count your blessings.

The papers wouldn't lie!

I sigh, not one more.

It's been a bad day.
Please don't take a picture.
It's been a bad day.
Please.

I've got R.E.M. running through my head this morning for some reason so I looked them up and smashed some songs together. I never really realized how sad and depressing a lot of their songs are. [Thoughtful pause] Still cool though~very cool indeed. And apparently they knew what was really going on-a bunch of sad stuff you just can't do much about.

Well, it's the end of the world (and R.E.M.) as we know it. But I feel fine. (fine, fine)

Okay, I can't stop. Since my brain IS 80% song lyrics, I guess this is to be expected.

I just can't get out of my head how rough times have gotten for most of my loved ones lately. Where are all the lighthearted sitcom circumstances? All the shiny happy people laughing? It's hard to find it amid the job loss, money lacking, sickness and death we've been seeing around here lately. If there's comedy, it tends to be dark or short lived.

Hold on.

This is not the kind of change we were hoping for! (Oops, that was campaign slogan banter, sorry.)

Back to the jumble in my head. I'm starting to wonder if the Lord is allowing more people to pass away so fewer are here to worry as even harder times come. Or is the crowd only thinning lately from my perspective? My aging self.

This weekend as we watched a dear cousin suffer a fatal heart attack during our yearly Red Rock Canyon reunion, I found myself thinking "And now, of course, THIS is happening." I didn't feel surprise-just more sadness. More grief for those suffering.

Why does praying not seem like quite enough?

If I thought latch hooking a rug would help in these times of grief, by gum I'd be turning out tacky mats by the dozen! I just don't seem to know what to do with myself to aid in this pain. I guess I'll just have to keep praying and work on being a blessing to others rather than a burden(says the dramatic high maintenance diabetic.)

Consider this, consider this:

Everyone around, love them, love them.

Where tomorrow shines, gold and silver shine.

Throw your love around.

Happy, happy.

And on that note:

This one goes out to the one(s) I love.

(My apologies to R.E.M. for what just happened.)

XOXOX

IT'S A MAJOR AWARD!

Yesterday we received a paper invitation, printed and folded into quarters home-made-card style. It said:

Dear Parents,

You and your family are invited to attend the awards night for the youth's writing contest given by the [Our town] Writers. Your child, or children, will receive a certificate along with the prize money.

"Your child, or children, will receive a certificate along with the prize money"? What? One or BOTH of my children will receive THE prize money? I'm confused.

Why can't I understand the writing of the Writers Club?

So that happened yesterday. And tonight, the kids and I went to the Senior Citizens Activity Center as requested on the invite, instead of going to see Jamey play music in Fayetteville as we'd planned.

It's a good thing we did too because my boy won FIRST PLACE in the Prose category with his story 'The Golden Manatee'. This was a contest he entered totally on his own volition from a flyer he saw at school! Isn't that neato? He had to write a short story beginning with the sentence "The door was closed."

What fun for him to be rewarded for something he really enjoys doing!

It's so thrilling and strange to see your children grow up into their own- bageck- (sorry-losing my cool a little bit there) independent selves. He's such a wonderful newly twelve year old and we do love him so...and not just for his prize money.

Have a terrific Easter weekend all!

Another birthday already?

Yesterday our Dandy dude turned SEVEN! I can't believe it has been five years since I saw his tiny little sleeping face and immediately went squishy with love. He was our first foster child and a complete answer to prayer as we had been hoping to adopt but felt God was leading us toward fostering through the state.

Shortly after arriving in our care at not quite two, he needed two separate surgical procedures done to correct hearing and vision problems so he was placed on the extreme makeover circuit to get him caught up. It was an all consuming stressful but joyous time for all of us. Getting to know him and seeing him heal physically and mentally, were our main focus that first year before he became ours officially. We tried not to give in to our trepidation about his future as to whether he'd remain with us or go back to his father who gave us little hope of rehabilitation or parental competency. And instead tried to do all we could to further his future either way. Of course once we met him, we could never imagine life without him!

And now we're here. Still discovering, still healing and growing together as a family.

The learning curve continues. One of the things that we now understand more clearly is just how affected the bonding process is when a child has had a rough start in life. The brain actually forms differently in children who aren't cared for properly and they become practically hard wired with defensive mechanisms that keep them going in a state of self preservation, preventing them from feeling too deeply and therefore detaching themselves from true pain. It's an incredibly helpful AND hurtful dose of denial built right into the newly forming brain chemistry.

As an adopted person myself, I've not had any understanding of Attachment Disorder having gone home from the hospital and fully bonded with my "forever" family.

It was not until we planned on adopting a nearly three year old that attachment concerns even came to my attention. Even then to me it seemed pretty black and white. They get to know you and trust you, then you have attached. Check mark on steps 1,2,and 3. Nurture wins every time!

Of course this is not the case. And now I've even come to learn that some kids have it way worse than most people could ever imagine. This is called Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD). Having a challenging child such as Dandy, I've tried to educate myself on this and many other possibilities that have come to mind when attempting to understand our own little complex guy.

As no two children are the same, we've found that our Dandy especially follows no previous pattern or rule book. He is wonderfully unique in the way that each fine human piece of art created by God is. But, he IS an abstract creation and a head scratcher to be sure.

He is diagnosed with Mixed Developmental Disorder, which we are told is sort of a blanket label to allow him to receive all the services available to him from which he might benefit. If they put him in the spectrum of Autism, then he would receive only specific help in that direction. And he's not entirely Autistic but more a mix of that,Oppositional Defiance, Cerebral Palsy, Microcephaly, Sensory Processing Disorder, ADHD, developmental delays,Failure to thrive, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Attachment Disorder, all in a colorful candy shell.

Yes, he has some challenges and therefore so do we. I'm of course not saying he's the most difficult child in the world. I've met and read about much more medically and emotionally challenged children. He is just such a mixture of issues, we never quite know what needs to be done to help him deal with things easier.

He hasn't been doing well with the school setting since he began kindergarten and though we even have him in a special school to handle this, he seems to be doing the same or even worse. He never integrates in with the other children and even disrupts the class so much with noise or destructive behavior, he has to be removed several times per day.

About a month ago he decided, by pitching huge fits and unbuckling his seatbelt, not to ride home in the transport vehicle. So I've had to pick him up myself which usually takes more than an hours worth of driving time at the same time Ratchet is getting out of school in our town each afternoon. This just doesn't work for us at all.

Every time something new comes up we can't help but wonder if the experts know what their doing. Is our child in capable hands or are they putty in his? Why does he seem to confuse them on a daily basis? Aren't they trained in every possible situation? Should we let our instincts override the conflicting voices in our ears or trust the people who schooled specifically for these things? I'm not really sure.

I am sure that he is going to keep surprising us in good and bad ways. Just as we expect a certain behavior from him, he totally throws us an opposite. For instance, he potty trained in less than four days. He quit a major six year thumb sucking habit in two. He can't put his own socks on or take his shirt off by himself but can read an entire book to you if he so chooses. He is a wonder not to be underestimated.

What a wily little coyote we have in that kid! He is so adorable, creative, and focused one minute and so donkey stubborn, destructive, repetitive, and manipulative the next. He wants to please, but also has a strong voice inside him working to sabotage any good rapport he's formed with someone.

We have gained so much ground with him over the years though. SO much. (I repeat for myself). We definitely go backwards occasionally too, but are trying to keep the wheels pointed forward and the positives accentuated when he's having them.

I ache to keep him home from school at times when I'm most frustrated with his behavior there. He would never throw a chair or peel up a floor at my house and know he could get away with it. We do let him make his quirky noises more at home because he doesn't have to sit in a classroom without disturbing other children.

But, "they" keep telling me he needs to deal with this now. He needs to be able to be around people and interact with them properly. And he does. But he also needs the physical, speech, occupational therapies and psychiatric care he is receiving at this school. He just wouldn't get those things at home without us breaking the bank entirely.

So we are tightly squeezed between the rock and hard place doing what we are told is best for our child. I am claustrophobic in here, but with the help of medicine for Dandy(and ok, myself too ;), we are learning to deal with the anxiety and sometimes debilitating daily challenges that swoop in and try to steal our confidence and joy. It is an endurance thing not a quick fix.

Still we wonder what next year will bring. And the next. And the next. It is scary raising an oppositional child that doesn't respond much to consequence and has trouble forming bonds with people. I know many parents with kids like this struggle with thoughts of the future when it's hard enough to deal with life's pressures on a child without any challenges.

I pray daily that we will grow stronger as a family in dealing with difficult periods in our Dandy's life. And that God will give him a supernatural wisdom that keeps him safe and able to make good decisions as he grows into adulthood and goes out into a dangerous world on his own.

In the meantime, I must remind myself that though wedged, I'm not completely confined in this hard place. I can still glorify God from this position and that is really all that is required of me. No excuses Shan. Stop that worry and get to the GLORY! God loves these wounded children more than any of us can comprehend.

Thank you for letting me spill. I guess I slipped into essay mode there. :}

I don't mind at all if you skipped to the part where I say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRECIOUS BOY!!!" We love our gift!

Birthday boy considered "well into thirties" by 40 yr old wife

Today was a special day for a certain young man in our house.

He's finally lost his youthful curls

And now he's all grown up!

And super ninja tough!

But he's also pretty sweet

That's why he's wanted in several counties for just being so dang awesome!

Happy 37 dear husband!!

We love you much!!!

Thursday in the big town

I've got a few tidbits to share before I head off to bed and lose it all.  I want to remember this day and the simple pleasures it gave me before I sleep and it becomes, well, yesterday. 

This morning, a.k.a. trash day, I planned to position myself at the window in clear view of the can at the curb outside.  This was not hard for me as I am usually at this window enjoying 1-3 cups of coffee and the company of my computer friends most a.m.'s.  My plan was to watch the "waste team" as they came across the poster board you may or may not remember from Ratchets cowboy b-day party.  It looks a little something like this:

And it was sitting next to the black can waiting to be disposed of.  Now, I ask you, what regular human could resist picking up this poster with an adult sized hole sitting atop a goofy picture and NOT immediately put their head through it?  It just isn't done.  Knowing this and hoping not to be disappointed, I carefully peeked out the window.  There were two guys there hanging from the back of the truck so I was encouraged.  Then the one closest to the curb hopped off and methodically went for the can, first tossing the top bags until it was lighter and then lifting the whole can in.  Then, still lacking enthusiasm, he grabbed the extra stuff including the poster board and tossed it all into the back of the truck.  

"Wait."  I thought, as he looked at what he'd just thrown.  Then YES, he pulled the stiff board back out of the trash and popped it right onto his head to show his partner!  I thrilled as I watched them smile at each other.  I kept watching and sure enough, the first dude wore the thing around his head until the next stop where he proceeded to get out and stand perfectly still, hands supporting the sides of the picture until the driver of the truck noticed him! Finally, after giving him a good look and laughing with the buddy in back, he jogged around to the passenger side of the trash truck, opened the door and tossed in the poster for safe keeping.  I LOL'ed and clapped with glee inside my house knowing Jamey's silly poster will live on another day.  It was so fun giving those dudes a little lift in their stinky stanky Thursday run.  I sighed thinking that was really all I needed to happen today. Then, I instantly wondered what we could do next week to surprise our hard working trash getters.  Maybe it was a one time thrill for us all. I supposed a live possum surprise wouldn't thrill as much as frighten/annoy, so that big guy under the house may have to wait.  Whatever the case, it was good not-so-clean fun on this particular morning. 

After school, my boys and I went to the park and enjoyed the perfect Spring day.  There is a creek running along beside it and they both took off their shoes and waded through until their feet were bright pink and nearly frozen.  I sat on a rock at  the edge of the water like the lizard that I am, and just soaked in all the Lithium my brain could process.  Dude, what a rush.  Dandy, normally physically challenged by any new terrain, was amazing as he took to the cold rocky surface like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings.  He had all fours down at several points, but kept this determined look mixed with wonder on his face as he maneuvered the rocks awkwardly with his bony tender frame.  After about 45 minutes, he announced from the middle of  the stream that he wanted to stay there[with his Precious]forever.  Baha.  The sunshine was affecting us all apparently.

When it was almost time to get back home for dinner, Ratchet decided to ride his bike up the hill toward home and Dandy stayed for one last hurrah on the playground.  While The D was messing about, we ran into one of Ratchet's favorite teachers of all time (from Kindy and first grade).  We rarely see her but have been following her blog and praying for her as she has been battling cancer for over a year, and has been a huge inspiration to hundreds of people she's encountered along the way.  

Her daughter took this picture of us today and she put it up on her blog just for my big boy to see and to leave a special message to him.  It pained me to hug her goodbye as the doctors have given her only a couple months and I wasn't sure we'd get to experience her delightful personality and smile again this side of heaven. If the Lord chooses to heal her and keep using her to his glory on earth, there will be a huge celebration of this wonderful lady, no doubt.  She simply glows with the love of Christ and I felt blessed to have seen her on this perfect Spring day.

Now though, it is midnight and my Thursday has officially ended- therefore so must the story. I hope you all have as wonderful a Friday as I enjoyed today.  And may the weekend give you cause to be wanted by the sheriff fer all that fun your a havin'.  XOXO

Showin' the luuuv.

Here's what I woke up to on Valentines day morning:  
 
There were cards...

And homemade paper flowers in a paper wrapped vase....

Oh yes, and homemade wrapping paper around my present....which was a hands free phone cord for my latest celly.  You can picture that part yourself.

That evening, we went to dinner in a neighboring town and had some delicious Mexi food together. (I don't take pics of EVERY meal we eat so imagine 4 hogs(one with a red wig)at a trough for this part, because that's a pretty accurate mental image. 

All together it was quite a delightful day. 

On Sunday it was my turn to show my Valentine a less greedy side of myself (which would be my right, no doubt, because I'm a lefty).  So, with the help of my darling friend Jenna, who offered to keep the chaps-sweet thang that she is- I took my fellow to see his other true love....

SUSHI!!!!  EEEEEEEK!!!  I don't even eat COOKED fish(gagging sounds)!!!!!!!!!!!

But since he made me those pretty flowers, I turned off the flop sweat and tried a vegetable sushi roll with soy paper wrapping and something called "crunch" on the outside.  Let me tell you right now non suchi eaters, this stuff was absolutely delicious!!  I might even be able to crave it from time to time and join the sushi revolution currently in progress. If I could just master those chopsticks a bit more...

After making the waitress take our picture, we finished the evening at the nearby bookstore with coffee and zero children in tow.  Pure relaxation.

So, there's a story that only family and hopeless romantics can appreciate.  Girl feels loved.  Girl attempts sacrifice for love.  Girl avoids seafood disaster.  Girl goes to Barnes and Noble with her love.  Girl realizes she has made no sacrifice at all-typical.  Girl loves boy....still.

I hope your weekend was just as satisfying. 

The hankie anniversary

Since I recently went on an unplanned blogging hiatus, I'll try to catch you up on a few things that have gone on in the last while around Shansland.  

In this entry, I want to point out that Jamey and I recently rocked the silk/linen anniversary!  Well, as much as you do rock an airy wrinkle-prone fabric on any given day.  Ok, we may not have worn silk or linen but boy did we have a twelfth  anniversary!  Yeah buddy!  And, since I couldn't find the official wedding album after looking in all the usual spots, I thought I'd show you these little black and whites of us nervously fiddling about before the actual ceremony began.  

As you can see, Jamey was merely a hatchling when I married him fresh out of college.  I was a mature woman of twenty-six and had enough wisdom at that point to know I would want my husband to be good and spry when his old girl needs to be put down.  It really works out for both of us,  I'll have a caretaker in my final days with his doogies about him.  And  he'll still have time once I'm off to Gloryland, to get a silver bullet Airstream loaded with all of his music gear (and a few fishing poles) and strike out on the road unhindered.   That's my loose plan anyway.

No matter how it all goes down, I know I got myself a keeper.  Jamey has a high tolerance for all of my high maintenance tendancies.  I have yet to scare him off in my worst of times, it's true. Most days,  he makes me feel like I have the hotness of Angelina Jolie (when I'm feeling more like her smoldering toilet leavings),  and  the mothering skills of  "Ma" Ingles (when I suspect I'm a Half-pint away from being Rosanne Barr  -slobbishly yelling at my kids in a whiny voice from the kitchen table.) "Eat again??  Didn't I just feed you people four hours ago?"

And Hubby-o-a dozen years does not just tell me he loves me.  No, no.  He does whatever it takes to make sure I am as happy and cared for as possible.  

Just last evening, for example, my insulin pump blew a sensor and died as I was refilling it with medicine.  This meant I would have no constant supply of insulin throughout the night and I was in for a tricky 12 hours until our pharmacy opened the next morning.  Fortunately, I have my Doc's email and he immediately called in a long acting insulin to the nearest 24 hour pharmacy.  Since this pharmacy was in another city 30 miles across the country darkness of Northwest Arkansas(and these eyes of mine don't DO country darkness of Northwest anywhere), my sweet husband hopped in the car without hesitation and spent the next hour and a half running my late Sunday evening errand without complaint.

That was not the first time he's had to make such a trip or otherwise drop everything else for me.  He takes care of me that one.  And he won't even complain when the bill for my hideously expensive newfangled pump arrives in the mail in a week or two.  He's been nice like that for a good dozen + years!  So, I expect I'll keep him until my own sensors make their final beeps and I'm eventually replaced by a newer model myself (well maybe model is not the best choice of words here. How about...version. Yes, I like that better.).  Let's just hope we make it well past talk of silk and linen before any necessary upgrades happen and have at least a jewel or metal celebration in our sites by then.

Happy (late as usual) anniversary Sweetheart!  You are the wings-that somehow use all of my wind as an energy source!! And even though that awkward phrasing would never make it into a well celebrated Bette Midler song, it still works for us somehow.  Now, pass the anniversary hankie over here if you will.  I'm coming down with a case of the sentimentals and my nose is starting to run.  So, here's to many more...HONK!!  XOXOX

Now I lay me down to sleep....

Finally something happened today that I can't blame on "The Diabetus" as we like to call it.   I have been suffering from an inability to blog this week and it's not really even from being too busy or preoccupied.  I simply haven't been able to form sentences.  I'm still struggling with it as I lumber through this post.  And it's a little startling to see myself attempting to explain something in my usual long winded way, but getting nothing useful and erasing time and time again.  

It seems I've been slowly exfixiated (no not exfoliated, spellcheck but thanks for trying to help) by something toxic underneath this room.  It has gotten so bad that last night when a friend was over, she even said it was giving her a headache.  I must admit my lungs feel like they've been chemically burned and my throat has been getting sore as well.  I hope whatever that was has not actually done permanent damage to my grayer than usual brain.  Some days my bulbs are brighter than others so it's hard to tell-durn diabetus.

I started combing the place today in desperation trying to find the source of this ever increasing smell.  It is so chemical, like a bug bomb or I don't know, Agent Orange or something.  It's not an organic smell like dead possum or a misplaced broccoli crown. (Btw, try to keep track of your broccoli.) 

 No, This is skull and bones toxic!  It burns the insides of my throat and makes my brain pulse.  Did I already mention that?  I'm still suffering fume damage you know.  

Jamey went under the house today because the smell had only intensified and I had checked everything I could think of that could possibly be a source up here.  Well, botta bing!  The toxic odor was even worse under there and he found a rusted can that was leaking and fuming like crazy.  YIKES!  How many brain cells and years have I just lost due to that thing? I DONT KNOW I'VE BEEN CHEMICALLY ALTERED!!! Papa, can you hear me?...... 

If THIS turns out to be the cause of my eventual cancer I will be so annoyed.  I had it all planned that I would strictly blame the deadly aspartame/saccharin  combo I've been using in my coffee for years.  But now I just won't know.   I feel like I've been poisoned and the epidermis of my communication center was the first layer burned off.  

My only hope now is that by breathing this toxin for several days, I have begun to develop some sort of super power.  I realize I didn't actually fall into a vat of chemicals but I wouldn't want THAT much of an altering anyway.  Perhaps something more discreet and less angry than green skin or a joker's grin would be nice.  Maybe I'll notice I'm a little more stretchy than usual.  That could help with housework and such. Or, if I'm lucky, I'll  suddenly be able to cook food with my pointed finger.  That might be marketable.  I could be called KeBabs!, or The Human Skewer. This could  surely excite people who watch  the Food network channel.  

More likely I'll suffer lung rot and my power will just be spitting green wads of acid at weeds in my yard or something equally non-heroic.  I'll try to note any new developments and keep you informed of physical alterings.  I did take a pretty long nap today but now that I think about it that's not really newsworthy at all.  

We've got the doors open and other than the throat burning, I think my head is beginning to clear up a little so only time will tell.  This could be the end to my career as a wedding singer. But then again Janis Joplin got a lot of gigs with her rasp so maybe I'll just have to limit myself to Rod Stewart songs and  keep scratchin' it out until all of my friends are happily married.  "Faw  ha hawa eva Young".  

And now all I can do (other than spike and bleach my hair of course) is pray the Lord my soul and lungs to keep another day.  Have a fresh Monday my friends!  XOXO

What? For ME? (A.K.A. Yet another self centered entry)

HEY EVERYBODY!  IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  Oops, but if I don't stop yelling about it I may get a citation with a sarcastically placed bow on the corner from my silence loving town.  Sorry guys....I'll put the crock on simmer now.  

Yes, it is my special day. And for some reason this year I'm on a little marathon of celebrating.  It started with a huge batch of this from my Mo and Do, that I actually purchased at the beginning of summer to attempt to undo next years wrinkles (ah, vanity).   Then on Saturday,  all three of our ninety year old Grandmas rang in their warm wishes with cards in the mail.  I was so touched that even Jamey's dear Grandmothers could  manage to think of me so far away and get a card off ahead of time when their lives are still as busy as mine!  What an amazing generation.

Then on Sunday my precious Mother-in-law made about 400(give or take ;) of her famous eggrolls and all the sides for our large Siloam family of 16 to celebrate, you guessed it, ME!  Oh man those things are good!  They have these translucent little noodles inside with sausage...DON'T GET ME STARTED.  I had two, because I'm a lady.  But, when Dandy wasn't managing to eat the eggroll left on his plate, I crammed that sucker in my mouth like a starving stray animal, wildly looking around to see if anyone was encroaching on me from either side.  But, you know, it was MY birthday dinner so BACK OFF PEOPLE!  

Ahem, cough. [composer regained].  Next evening comes, and Jamey and the boys having already presented me with this, also surprised me with this sign outside the dining room.

And then I saw these guys.

That's when I squealed and grabbed the camera and took in the whole scene.

Jamey made a huge dinner of homemade meatballs and spaggetti with all the trimmings.  He and the boys gave me the 5 star treatment, waiting on me from all directions!

I told him if this was thirty-nine, I'd have to really strap my boots on for forty because I can't imagine feeling more special!  Tee hee HEE!  

I'm still giddy because I'm scheduled to go out with some gizzurl friends tonight to see two of my favorite dude actors Pierce Brosnan(forever Remington Steele to me), and Colin Firth (Mr. Darcy, twice over-sigh); not to mention the always fabulous Meryl Streep- all wrapped up together in one of my favorite musicals to date!  MAMA-MIA!  

I grew up listening to ABBA.  On family road trips growing up, my Dad tended to pop a cassette into the player and it would remain there throughout the trip, playing over and over for the entire drive.  Needless to say, some of the most memorable moments in my upbringing have the lyrics of 'Dancing Queen' and 'Super Trooper' scripted secretly inside them much like Gollum's Precious.  

When I saw Mama Mia with my bff Arlynda in a Traveling stage production a few years back, my eyes glowed as they drank in the whole show with thirsty nostalgia rushing back into my mind for neglected sips.  AHHHHH!  (Belch-whoops,where'd the lady go, birthday girl?)  Naturally, it only fits that the movie would come out in perfect time to see it  CELEBRATION STYLE.  Yips!

So, like I said, look out forty, thirty nine's already a giddy mess of "Aw shucks" as it is.  I simply couldn't feel more special or more youthful.....unless, well....there is one thing that would make it puurrrrrfect.  A comment from YOU!  Thanks everyone for such a great birthday! Love and perhaps even hugs, Shans

Shan to temporarily leave land

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  I am scheduled to be removed from my computer mid-Sunday and it is highly likely I may not return until the following Sunday!  I realize this is really only one week but for my own sake I am making it much much bigger and am pretending that I'm going off on a wild "unplugged" adventure into the GREAT WILDERNESS of no internet.  

What is this place of which you speak young(ish) blogger?  It is my homeland.  The place where I took my most tender first steps. Where I went from adorable big eyed baby to chunky frog faced version of Laura Ingals Wilder.  It's the world that shapeshifted me right into the promising semi-attractive at this point high school graduate who almost didn't want to leave her sweet  setup as a warranty (coffee) clerk at a lawnmower distributing warehouse to experience the next four ("Try six."  Someone dryly mocks.) years of college. 

Oh.  Why didn't you just say Oklahoma City?  Well because, dull warranty clerk who never even uses her OWN lawnmower, some of us have higher aspirations of communication than you and all the other voices trying to make their way into this entry.  SOME of us have a that little flare for drama and entertainment.  And even though that particular section of The Shan has been known to bust into an impromtu song and dance number, there are even subtler versions of this performer that prefer to turn simple statements into vast sinkholes of run-on sentences and wordy descriptives.

But now we've all forgotten the point of this post and we are all growing weary watching you fi-lap-ball-change your way down the page.  YOU CAN'T RUSH AN ARTIST!  Ok, did she just call herself an artist because now this is re-heely getting out of hand.  Maybe she meant to say Narcissist and her "artistry" got in the way.  Yes, I agree with you.  

OK HOW MANY OF US ARE IN HERE?!  Can I please continue? Yip.  Yes. Whatever.  Go on Diva.  THANK YOU.  Now, where was I....Oh yes, I must leave my post dear bloggers!  I er, uh, We shall use this time to carefully examine life outside the electronic world and boldly go where pages physically turn while the young offspring frolic around in the great outdoors and all of our meals are provided .. I'm sorry, I've got to cut in here.  WHAT IS IT? 

 Well, really it's all the waxing on about magical pages turning and food being delivered to you.  And,  really?  No electronics?  Last I checked Ginger and Gido had a huge cable box wired to all of the gigantic televisions in the house. AND yes, you will read but don't you already kind of do that now.  YEAH, and that part about the meals.

 I heard us tell Mom we would help with dinner and stuff so that's not really gonna fly with...ALRIGHT ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!  For such curt  and to the point stodgy voices, you guys are all writing yourselves all the way onto my short list of most agitating contributers to a blog post to date!  Then stop with all of the exaggerations.  That's right I mean we're going out of town.  The kids get to go to camp and we get to shop around and stuff.  Big whoop.  Yeah, big whoop.  

But it's so much greater than that in my head.  Well, not to all of us.  She is somewhat right.  It WILL be nice to get away and spend some quality time with the family.  Don't burst her bubble to much on that one.  Ok, true, but she is just so irritating and is always so capital letter loud.  I AM STILL HERE!! 

 Ok, just let me finish. The bottom line is guys  we're not "us" without the wordy noisy  one are we?  Nah. No. Guess not.  She's the punk to our sparkler of many colors.  True. 

 Ahhhh!  THANKS everyone!  You know that really means something to me.  Why just the other day I was twittering about in our..SOMEONE take her down!  Please just sign off already.  OH, ok.  BYE BLOGGING FRIENDS!!  I won't be reading!  Or commenting!  I'll see you guys when I [click-publishing post activated]

A never too late Mothers Day Spotlight

Would ya?  Could ya? Take a stroll with me?

Down to my Mimsy's Fine Art Gallery

Of course, it's really called Jan Hutchinson.com,

but for this gal it's hard calling her anyone but Mom.

She's succeeded in oils and has painted for years,

she's captured the landscapes of both far and near.

At my Dad's office all of her wildest beasts hang.

Not stuffed on wall mounts, but neatly painted and framed.

These days she's loosed her stylings just a hair,

with pastels she now captures breezy scenes with fresh air.

A more pleasant combo Broker, Artist, Mother, Friend,

you'll truly not find 'less it's SHE once again! 

I'm too boring for this blog

Well now isn't that a little bit funny.  I just wrote the title of this blog and then accidentally posted it.  I was so boring and unsexy to my own blog, it thought I would be better suited to just post a title than to attempt to drag you guys into my incredibly dull hole with me.  

Cute, publish button.  Verry cute.  But it doesn't keep me from droning on, for I am a nagging infection of boredom who ever so briefly just considered blogging about the small dog-sized hair ball I just swept up from all the hard surfaces of my house.  I think my chihuahua is always tricked into thinking we've gotten a third beast when this happens because she immediately rushes over to my sweepings each time and sniffs out the pile like she's smelling the rump of a new and interesting visitor.  Oops, I guess I did  just blog about sweeping my floor didn't I? Nice one Shans.

I think this week I'm feeling a little melancholy about my home alone situation (hands on cheeks and open mouthed McCauley Culkin style).  It's no doubt the effect of the extroverted me being at home without constant people interaction and reaction. I am sulking in the fact that Trisha just started her job, that Becky is doing freelance(again with the money making-harumph) and Shelley is just up up and moving away.  Boo-hoo and double HISS! Where is that shy little book lovin' introverted shan when you need her anyway.  She'd be good company if she wasn't always wanting "alone time".  Aargh.

 Many days I do happily skip about the house by myself, easily being amused by a particular drawer of clothing or a purposefully "silly walk" I've adopted for funsies.  I listen to my i-pod or  read your blogs and talk on the phone a little to get all my people fixes likity-split!  And "where on earth did the day go?" I nervously giggle realizing I am in fact still in my sleepwear at 1:00pm having been lost in a brain wander half the day.

But sometimes this self containment just doesn't cut it and I feel...well,  plain ol' dull; a Dully Lama of my own not-worth-the-press country.  At least in that case I might have people to oversee that have potential to do something interesting.  

No, it's not that at all.  In this case I think it's me not finding ANYTHING interesting anymore.  I was looking at my t.v. last night wondering why I bother with all those extra accidentally free cable channels.  I don't want to see Tila Tequila choosing which of her suiters she'll date by having contests to see which one can be the MOST disgusting in EVERY way.  

I don't want to watch a big batch of model clones dance around with numbered suitcases in the attempt to make a choosing numbered suitcases game interesting.  I don't even want to watch nervous cooks running around bumping into each other as an ANGRY chef from H-E-double hockey sticks Kitchen yells at them until THEY catch fire from all the pitchfork dodging they are doing around a hot grill.

 With entertainment like this who needs depression? For reals now people COME ON!

I know that this is just my temporary dysphoria speaking.  And come next Thursday, I'll be back at that glowing screen watching 'So you think you can dance dance dance?' in surgical focus with the rest of America.  I'm just busying myself this week living out the quote  "If you're bored it's only because you're a boring person"  to the fullest.  SO BE IT!!  And you can suffer it too dear Shanslookers! 

 Oh my.  I've gone and taken it out on you now haven't I?  Sorry dear friends :)  Do come back won't you?  I promise not to say anything too scandalously raw because frankly,  I'm not interesting enough to do so.  Now, I must be off to pet I mean put my trash out.  XOXO's to you and one raspberry for me.  Plllllpt!

Ratchet makes the decade!

Today is my dear little firstborn's birthday and I want to try to keep my wordiness to a min. (like that ;) and give a year in pictures to highlight my precious boy's goings on from year 9-10.  But knowing my track record for wordiness, do you really believe I could just start slapping pictures up willy nilly with nary an explainy? That's just not how I roll now is it? It's always fun to say stuff like that with a 'Frasier' type inflection so make sure you add that for grins.  

Well, It was an interesting though enjoyable pregnancy and he wasn't an easy delivery by any means but I.... >>>>>fast forward>>>>fast forward>>>>10 years later...decided to take Ratchet and six of his closest buddies and one sibling to see Horton Hears a Who Friday night to kick off a grand evening of sleepover splendor and shinannery.

Aside from a brief panic upon entering the movie theater and suddenly realizing I couldn't see(darn night vision) or hear(darn Dolby sound) any of the children I had come with, it all turned out fine once a nephew came to usher me to the proper row full of kids I had just been dutifully herding only moments before.  

After the movie, we raced home for sloppy joes, chips and fresh veggies(kids are so easy to feed).  Oh and did I ever represent the knowledge I have procured from all of your blogs!  I made cupcakes ala Slushturtle, and the kids made their own ice cream like Hillary's with baggies and rock salt so that was interesting and apparently tasty as well.  Yippee!  I had a picture of the ice cream too but please don't make me put it back in I tried once and everything went hideously asunder! It  turned quickly to all things weaponry anyway once the last joe slopped!

On it went with present opening and outdoor play well into the evening where we eventually all gathered in the living room where the legos and video games required some attention. 

Well, so much for that year in pictures thing eh? The party in pictures(html) has me looking as tired as J and I in that last picture so I'm going to stop there. :D
I'm glad my sweet boy had such a wonderful birthday weekend.  I certainly have enjoyed every moment of his ten short years on this earth. He is such a happy blessing that makes every day brighter. Many more big boy!!!