Friday, June 13, 2008

Shan to temporarily leave land

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  I am scheduled to be removed from my computer mid-Sunday and it is highly likely I may not return until the following Sunday!  I realize this is really only one week but for my own sake I am making it much much bigger and am pretending that I'm going off on a wild "unplugged" adventure into the GREAT WILDERNESS of no internet.  

What is this place of which you speak young(ish) blogger?  It is my homeland.  The place where I took my most tender first steps. Where I went from adorable big eyed baby to chunky frog faced version of Laura Ingals Wilder.  It's the world that shapeshifted me right into the promising semi-attractive at this point high school graduate who almost didn't want to leave her sweet  setup as a warranty (coffee) clerk at a lawnmower distributing warehouse to experience the next four ("Try six."  Someone dryly mocks.) years of college. 

Oh.  Why didn't you just say Oklahoma City?  Well because, dull warranty clerk who never even uses her OWN lawnmower, some of us have higher aspirations of communication than you and all the other voices trying to make their way into this entry.  SOME of us have a that little flare for drama and entertainment.  And even though that particular section of The Shan has been known to bust into an impromtu song and dance number, there are even subtler versions of this performer that prefer to turn simple statements into vast sinkholes of run-on sentences and wordy descriptives.

But now we've all forgotten the point of this post and we are all growing weary watching you fi-lap-ball-change your way down the page.  YOU CAN'T RUSH AN ARTIST!  Ok, did she just call herself an artist because now this is re-heely getting out of hand.  Maybe she meant to say Narcissist and her "artistry" got in the way.  Yes, I agree with you.  

OK HOW MANY OF US ARE IN HERE?!  Can I please continue? Yip.  Yes. Whatever.  Go on Diva.  THANK YOU.  Now, where was I....Oh yes, I must leave my post dear bloggers!  I er, uh, We shall use this time to carefully examine life outside the electronic world and boldly go where pages physically turn while the young offspring frolic around in the great outdoors and all of our meals are provided .. I'm sorry, I've got to cut in here.  WHAT IS IT? 

 Well, really it's all the waxing on about magical pages turning and food being delivered to you.  And,  really?  No electronics?  Last I checked Ginger and Gido had a huge cable box wired to all of the gigantic televisions in the house. AND yes, you will read but don't you already kind of do that now.  YEAH, and that part about the meals.

 I heard us tell Mom we would help with dinner and stuff so that's not really gonna fly with...ALRIGHT ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!  For such curt  and to the point stodgy voices, you guys are all writing yourselves all the way onto my short list of most agitating contributers to a blog post to date!  Then stop with all of the exaggerations.  That's right I mean we're going out of town.  The kids get to go to camp and we get to shop around and stuff.  Big whoop.  Yeah, big whoop.  

But it's so much greater than that in my head.  Well, not to all of us.  She is somewhat right.  It WILL be nice to get away and spend some quality time with the family.  Don't burst her bubble to much on that one.  Ok, true, but she is just so irritating and is always so capital letter loud.  I AM STILL HERE!! 

 Ok, just let me finish. The bottom line is guys  we're not "us" without the wordy noisy  one are we?  Nah. No. Guess not.  She's the punk to our sparkler of many colors.  True. 
 Ahhhh!  THANKS everyone!  You know that really means something to me.  Why just the other day I was twittering about in our..SOMEONE take her down!  Please just sign off already.  OH, ok.  BYE BLOGGING FRIENDS!!  I won't be reading!  Or commenting!  I'll see you guys when I [click-publishing post activated]

11 comments:

MmeBenaut said...

I read EXCITEMENT in between the lines there. Have a wonderful time Shan without the internet and your blog pals. We'll still be here when you come back to us. xxx

dive said...

Hee hee, Shan (and all the other Shans in there with you).
Have a wonderful week relaxing with the family. Use every moment well and come back to us refreshed and happy.

Maria said...

God, I was sitting there reading and thinking, "This is exactly what the inside of my head sounds like on any given day...."

Tally said...

Sniff sniff! It's one thing for ME to take off everyday to another part of the country....quite another when YOU skip town! I know, I hate double standards too. But too bad! Can't wait for you to get back.....

lynn said...

Enjoy ! Look forward to your return.

Jenna Jean said...

Have a great time! Bring me back a souvenir, maybe a pair of shoes!!! Oh that's right, no shoe shopping with your mums! Hee Hee

By the way, how many of the Shans are there? It sounded like three but are there more?

AfricaBleu said...

Psycho. Have a good week; I'll see you when I get back from MY trip to Colorado. Use my coolpool all you want and beat your young un' at bowling with the Wii.

Scout said...

Have a great time. When I have to go visit my mother, which isn't actually my childhood home because she moved to another state, I always get a little freaked out and flash through my entire early life. I hate that.

phyllis the zebra said...

i hope you have a great time in Ohhh-kla-homa... O! K!

Koi said...

Can't wait to read your post when you get back. I always enjoy reading you posts, sometimes I just scan through and read different ones at random, kind of like scanning through trashy magazines at the grocery store.

shelley said...

Shan, come back to your land soon! Not only do I miss your sweet face in person, NOW I have to miss all your bloggy goodness???

Come back! But have fun where you are, of course :)