What is this place of which you speak young(ish) blogger? It is my homeland. The place where I took my most tender first steps. Where I went from adorable big eyed baby to chunky frog faced version of Laura Ingals Wilder. It's the world that shapeshifted me right into the promising semi-attractive at this point high school graduate who almost didn't want to leave her sweet setup as a warranty (coffee) clerk at a lawnmower distributing warehouse to experience the next four ("Try six." Someone dryly mocks.) years of college.
Oh. Why didn't you just say Oklahoma City? Well because, dull warranty clerk who never even uses her OWN lawnmower, some of us have higher aspirations of communication than you and all the other voices trying to make their way into this entry. SOME of us have a that little flare for drama and entertainment. And even though that particular section of The Shan has been known to bust into an impromtu song and dance number, there are even subtler versions of this performer that prefer to turn simple statements into vast sinkholes of run-on sentences and wordy descriptives.
But now we've all forgotten the point of this post and we are all growing weary watching you fi-lap-ball-change your way down the page. YOU CAN'T RUSH AN ARTIST! Ok, did she just call herself an artist because now this is re-heely getting out of hand. Maybe she meant to say Narcissist and her "artistry" got in the way. Yes, I agree with you.
OK HOW MANY OF US ARE IN HERE?! Can I please continue? Yip. Yes. Whatever. Go on Diva. THANK YOU. Now, where was I....Oh yes, I must leave my post dear bloggers! I er, uh, We shall use this time to carefully examine life outside the electronic world and boldly go where pages physically turn while the young offspring frolic around in the great outdoors and all of our meals are provided .. I'm sorry, I've got to cut in here. WHAT IS IT?
Well, really it's all the waxing on about magical pages turning and food being delivered to you. And, really? No electronics? Last I checked Ginger and Gido had a huge cable box wired to all of the gigantic televisions in the house. AND yes, you will read but don't you already kind of do that now. YEAH, and that part about the meals.
I heard us tell Mom we would help with dinner and stuff so that's not really gonna fly with...ALRIGHT ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! For such curt and to the point stodgy voices, you guys are all writing yourselves all the way onto my short list of most agitating contributers to a blog post to date! Then stop with all of the exaggerations. That's right I mean we're going out of town. The kids get to go to camp and we get to shop around and stuff. Big whoop. Yeah, big whoop.
But it's so much greater than that in my head. Well, not to all of us. She is somewhat right. It WILL be nice to get away and spend some quality time with the family. Don't burst her bubble to much on that one. Ok, true, but she is just so irritating and is always so capital letter loud. I AM STILL HERE!!
Ok, just let me finish. The bottom line is guys we're not "us" without the wordy noisy one are we? Nah. No. Guess not. She's the punk to our sparkler of many colors. True.
Ahhhh! THANKS everyone! You know that really means something to me. Why just the other day I was twittering about in our..SOMEONE take her down! Please just sign off already. OH, ok. BYE BLOGGING FRIENDS!! I won't be reading! Or commenting! I'll see you guys when I [click-publishing post activated]