Monday, June 9, 2008

Now only 13 shy of an even 100!

As I was stumbling through a hideous pile of leather and man-made materials this past weekend, I thought it might be fun to share with you one of my secret shames of the material world.
Yes, I'm afraid 87 is not only the year I graduated from high school, it has also become the giant, and to some, ghastly number of mediocre shoes I own.  While sitting atop the lurching pile on Saturday wondering which poor soles should stay and which should go, I realized each and every little(ok, hoofer sized)pair of my shoes has healed it's own place in my slowly swelling heart. 

 How do I send any one of you away oh faithful land-foot separators?  Even you, denim buckle top with the dog chewed  corner sole?  We've had some good times together.  Remember when I slipped off of you sideways, scraping the whole piece of thick skin from my heal?  Then I sort of flapped it back on hoping for reattachment. And it mostly worked!  Yeah, that was a scary messy day that I'll not soon forget.  

And you, you sneaky cross-trainer.  It was you I chose to wear for a simple backyard frolic- right into  the hole that broke my ankle. So much for the "sensible shoe" label doctors try to give you. That time we had to hop back into the house so I could take a quick bath and good-foot-it over to the emergency room for x-rays and a big black boot. 

 And don't even get me started on you slippery little flip flops! Of which one of you, who shall remain nameless, contributed to the porch slipping wrist snapping fall of '04 that kept me from getting my first foster baby(later to be known as Dandy) for six weeks!
 I'm not mad at any of my darling shoeys though.  We've had some blistering good times together.  I've definitely had my share of  tall shoe incidents as well.  I've done many clever wipe outs with subtle ground level changes underfoot. 
 But nothing can match the exhilaration  of strolling through a store with several inches added to each leg, peering over the tops of other shoppers in wizard to hobbit scale.  It's gloriously powerful.  I like to help the small bare and hairy footed shoppers reach things on the tippy top shelves while strolling down the toilet paper aisle.

But enough about me, let's get on with my collection shall we?  Here's a little rounder of some of what I like to call my "Barbie Shoes", although I feel certain their sheer size alone would disqualify them from anything so feminine sounding.  They are all however properly bedazzled and ball gown ready.

Here's a pair I'm pretty proud of.  What makes these twins special is that they are not twins at all but merely siblings!  One is a whopping size 10 while it's mini-me is merely an 8 1/2.  I discovered this one day at church while at first thinking my shoes were a little small, then later, re-looking and finding them actually quite roomie!  BAHHA!  I still wear them though because I am able to reach across size lines and set my mind somewhere in between.  I know, how very big of me. 

Here are some other groupings of Shan shoes:
We have the winter line.

A colorful batch of flip-ems

A motley mix of useful and uglies.  The ones I tend to live in are the tall dark blue flips with turquoise swirls.  Got them at an outdoor store several years ago and they may  actually never wear out.  May they never!

And here are some of the more closeted ones(poor dears)

In my way of wanting to start new fashion forward trends, I toyed around with an idea this weekend to keep my footwear looking fresh on a shoestring budget. I find it to be quite gangsta. 
It's right up there with my earcuff and rubber tie ideas. Is it not?

And now I'll leave you with the five year old Dandy modeling one of my boots to give  a feel for how Gandolfian my shoes actually are. 

How many wizard or barbie sized shoes do you have?


AfricaBleu said...

I didn't see your black Old Navy flip-flops with the bright flowers like the ones I also own--you know, the ones I found canoeing at the river that one time and then almost lost in Jamaica when someone with the EXACT SAME pair almost wandered off with them? It was a popular shoe, apparently.

Nice gams, by the way.

Jenna Jean said...

Your post makes me want to run upstairs and see how many shoes I have now. I know I won't touch your amount but maybe I will post back later with a number! I have known you now for quit a few years and I had no clue you owned so many shoes. I just knew you had some really cool onces. Hearing about the accident that gave you the big flap of skin on your heal still makes me cringe!

sarah cool said...

YOU ARE MY HEEEEEEERO!!!!! hahahaahaha. I feel so much better about my own collection. Heh heh.

I do have a ?.... how did you end up with 2 different sized shoes?!?!?!?! That's awesome!

Also, I agree, your Barbie shoes are beautiful and magical!

Shan said...

Bleu: Yeah, I noticed a small batch of flip flops in my closeted batch that I could have added and they were in there...unless we have been sharing the same pair all this time with the girl in Jamaica and just haven't caught onto its tricks. hmmm.

Count em Jenna. The number may surprise you!

Sarah: Haha I know we have some definite similarities don't we? To answer your question, My mom got them for me at a seconds type of store for cheap cheap. Now we know why.

dive said...

Wow! America's own Imelda Marcos!

Broken ankle, broken wrist … what made your shoes try to kill you, Shan?

I have one pair of black brogues, one pair of white trainers, one pair of black Converse Hi-tops and a pair of ratty old deck shoes that should really get thrown out … er … that's it. Four pairs of shoes.

You also have much better legs than me. Hee hee.

RoverHaus said...

What does it mean if I have more shoes than my wife?

I went through this in our last move, and instead of pitching anything, I kept them all. Shhh. Don't tell on me.

Loved the post!

Shan said...

Dive: You really might consider a fifth pair made of gauze and silicone if you're going to make a habit of pouring boiling water on your feet. Don't know how those would make the cross-town trek though.

Yea, why have my shoes turned on me when I love them so? Could be a housing problem making them so angry.

Rover: I will of course keep your secret. My post just backfired on me because my mom just read it and said we won't need to shop for shoes next week when I'm visiting. Boo-hiss. ;)

SlushTurtle said...

I feel like such a failure as a shoe consumer. No wonder the economy is floundering.

Jenna Jean said...

I knew a young lady that lived for her shoes...

My number was 42, which I think is a lot. I am still on the look out for a white strappy shoe with a little heal, maybe you can help!

Shan said...

No Slushy. It's not because of you. You buy all those expensive vacuums and such. Don't take any blame for the economy's dip. Let's keep blaming that on those greedy mortgage people.

Jenna J! You'd better slow it down as you are much younger than I! ;) Yes, that's a great idea. I'll help OTHERS find their rainbow shoe collections.

Scout said...

Oh My Gosh! I have about 25 pair of assorted shoes, but if I were to toss in the odd sandals, I might have 30.

MmeBenaut said...

Wow! You're almost in a contest with my mother and Imelda Marcos. I thought I had a lot of shoes but I don't have this variety. I feel much better now and I think I'll just pop into town to the shoe shop!
PS What gorgeous legs are on display - the long ones and the little ones.