Getting things straight

Dear Diary,

Lots of things are rattling around in my head today and I don't really know what to zoom in on. I thought I'd come here where we can be alone and jot some things down to ponder whilst away on our trip.

Okay, so first of all. I cried a little tear at the Chiropractor yesterday. Yes, it was totally hormonal -a "pretty" cry- with no makeup lost. They were giving this presentation that involved me looking at x-rays of my curvaceous spine complete with stiff bony neck and the technician telling me that I needed to come in twice a week for 11 weeks-then once a week totalling 64 (yes, sixty-four) treatments to get my spine back in the neighborhood of it's original form and my head not jutting out ahead of the rest of me like a curious but friendly visiting alien's.

After that, of course, I'd have the absolute luxury of only coming once or twice a month for maintenance. Say wha???

While the nice lady spoke, I just kept thinking about all the furniture and home improvements I could buy from Sam's with that imaginary chiro money, and then went on to visualize myself skillfully pedaling a recumbent bike down a winding path for no correlating reason but my own entertainment. I wonder how those are for long-backed ladies with a touch of scoliosis. I really like how it seems like you're just lounging around on them in a comfy laid back position all the while totally moving forward looking at the scenery....or a good book...

Ok, sorry sorry. So, acheybacknonewfurnitureorbike it shall be. AND on to the next issue.

We've now completed one rip-roarin' year of home school, the First Grader and I. And though there actually was a bit of ripping (him ripping pages of work) and roarin' (me losing my complete cool once and a while), we really did get some fairly low stress learnin' in- which was the main goal.

There seemed to be no improvement, however, in his ability to concentrate or follow directions in a group. Even a small out of shape dog sleeping in the room was enough to get his spider senses tingling toward irritation. I still cannot imagine him doing anything but beeping and holding his ears in an actual classroom. If we decide to do second grade at home, I think I'll need a proper curriculum and not the willy nilly seat-o-the pants lesson plans I used this year. Sadly, I seem to be as into teaching as I am most things. Tepidly.

Next item on the block: What's with these extra ten pounds? I het them Ignacio. I het all the extra pounds in the whole world!

Being almost forty-two is not as much fun as being almost forty. I think my chances for being on 'So you think you can dance' may be dwindling to nil at this point. Oh well, at least I've got the Yoga and my homemade hula hoops (Hoopsuckers, Shizameters) with which to strengthen my back and middle. I think I'll make one for Susu (my only niece) and take them on our trip.

I threw that video in for you Diary, because I know you like the cinema. ;)

Speaking of "our trip", we are leaving for Illinois in a couple days and will be gone for an entire week of camping/non-camping. I do the latter while the rest of the family stays in tents, don'tcha know. It is Jamey's Granny Clayberg's fish farm where J's fam stayed for months at a time while missionaries on furlow in the States. Granny passed away this past year so it will be an emotional last trip to the place they all know so well.

I like how the five oldest cousins run around that place like a pack of wolf boys. They fish, have air-soft battles, play games like Kick-the-can, and have all kinds of old school fun. The younger boy and girl cousins kinda join in here and there and play with each other while my little loner wanders around the adults playing with water and trying to braid all the camping equipment together into one giant pulley system. He is kind of in an "Uh, I have nothing to do." state right now so he and I may be taking some field trips into the neighboring farm towns to see what we can see. I am actually a little bit looking forward to soaking in the sun and trolling around in the boat with a fishing pole. This is a new feeling for me but I am trying to go with it.

That's all for now, Diary, as even you will tire of me if I can't learn to nip it. I might bring my faithful Lappy along and try to record some of our trip for the ages.

Thanks for letting me hash things out with you.

Evermore,

S

He's Gradumacated!!

Boy oh Boy it's been quite a year!!  Today we celebrated the Dandy One at his kindergarten graduation in the park.  Not only did I enjoy my third free hot dog lunch of the week (quite an accidental accomplishment in itself), but I also got to see my babe receive his tiny little signed diploma saying that yes, in fact, he WAS at school all this time and hopefully learning things as well!  Huzzah Huzzah!!

Now,  even though I think it is silly to call the transition between kindergarten and first grade a "graduation" requiring Pomp and Circumstance or any other official procedure, I am so relieved that we've come this far with our sweet 'n' sour sauced little Dandy this year.  He's a corker, that boy!  A sauce dipped corker!

We'd known he would have challenges with school from his rough start in the world but we started him in a special therapeutic school midway through the year that helps him deal with his various issues and monitors his progress along the way for maximum success. 

 

Here's a video he's working on for his final thesis this year starring lovable furry old me.  I went all squishy last night when we watched it together because he kept pausing it to tell me he loved me.  Little Punky.  I heart my graduate!!!! XOXO :D

Because I've been MIA from my blog...

I'll post a photo of  young Ratchet who played the part of a hippie in his fifth grade program last Thursday.  That will at least change the scene until I manage to get back to business in my land.   "To everything... turn turn turn.  There is a season...turn turn turn." I should have had him turn turn turn his hand around so that he's not flipping people off British-style.  Sorry about that Lynn and Dive.  I promise you he comes in peace.

When you take the eighties very seriously.....

you end up with extremely tall hair and lots of attitude!  Man I loved those faux leather snakeskin shoes! Can you believe some people at my conservative Christian college were actually afraid of me? It must have been my mauve awesomeness that intimidated them. 

What were you donning or doing in 1988?  

Dandy the lion

Shall we start the week off with a dance?  Dandy has been enjoying having the drum machine in his room this weekend.  He has been urgently calling us in for impromptu dance parties off and on for the last two days.  

It's kind of funny because he's not really into loud music so when this song first kicked in he stiffened for the quickest moment and I thought we were in for a panic.  Then, as if the pause was for dramatic effect, he suddenly went into lounge dance mode.  That's my boy. If your caught off guard, always turn it into a comedic side step cha-cha-cha whenever possible.  

Meanwhile on the downbeat, the gip is having new sensory overload manifestations at school.  He is acting out in brand new ways that are both mysterious and depressing to his parents. I've been up there "helping in the classroom" and lurking in the hallways- sneaking peaks at him here and there at the requests of the teachers.  My plan has been to seem like I'm EVERYWHERE and know EVERYTHING he is doing or not doing at school so that he remembers how to behave.  The teachers and staff, much to their credit, have been bringing in all the help they can to try and make his first year a success.  Why, he even has his own personal assistant with him full time.  Is this special needs or a mastermind in his earliest stages of manipulation training for new subordinates?  Sometimes we aren't quite sure to be truthful!  So far the work has not been a problem for him as we suspected, but the behaving? 

 OH BEHAVE!

I have another meeting in the morning to get some more services set up (complete with the usual healthy heaping of paperwork don'tcha know-wheee!).  Otherwise, we are just trying to educate ourselves in the various possible issues going on while being as consistent with rewards and consequences as possible to keep Dandy going in the right direction.  I have yet to find the manual on this kid!  He is uniquely and wonderfully made to say the least!  Now, if we can just keep him from turning into the next Dr. Evil, we'll eventually save the planet, or at the very least, one small town's school system along the way. 

(cue: music)

Dramatic pause........................................AND, Side step- cha cha cha. Front step-cha cha cha. Side step-cha cha cha. Back step-cha cha cha.......

Teaching colors to monkeys

Can it really be that two weeks of school has already slipped behind us?  Well, apparently it has but lousy, someone has surely sped up the clocks lately haven't they?!  I don't even think my crows feet and previously mentioned gray hairs can keep up with this new time pace the world seems to have taken to.  

Now that first week WAS super busy with non stop school related action.  I was up at both the boys schools at different points throughout the week either helping file the massive amounts of registration forms each student turned in at the third through fifth grade building. Or I was busy helping the tiny cuties sharpen their pencils and find their red crayons to color their first of many theme related coloring pages at Dandy's school.  I even sang along in my best school marm voice to the hit song

R-E-D red

R-E-D red

I can spell red.

I can spell red.

Fire trucks are red.

Stop signs are red too.

R-E-D

R-E-D

To tell you the truth, spelling "red" is actually the easiest part of learning to go to kindergarten.  Boy those kids were ca-raze-y!  I just don't know how teachers of first year students handle all of those little bodies going every which way and doing everything BUT spelling or coloring anything resembling red!  

When I arrived in one of the classes after lunch on the first day, I went straight to the class who's teacher had been called away to jury duty for her whole first week of school (Bless her heart).  Now, the sub was doing the best she could (now bless hers) on such short notice, but 23 five year-olds who barely know their own names in a new setting, is hard on even a seasoned prepared teach!

As the kids were supposed to be napping but were instead doing the worm on their mats and scooting from one side of the room to the other with a stream of endless chatter, "Teacher, what's this?!", pointing to a bolt on the chair. "Teacher, when do we get to leave?", "Teacher, my eyes are burning." One child was granted permission to go to the bathroom and I volunteered to escort him there.  Well, that was of course a GREAT way for bored nappers to pass the time, so pretty soon bladders were spontaneously filling and kids were getting up to crowd around their new diversion: Me.  I was starting to get a little nervous at this point because these were not orderly young Vontraps eagerly lining up to their own distinct whistle calls.  No, these were ferrel kinder pupae who at this point all looked EXACTLY the same to me!  I didn't really know how to contain them or keep them straight.  

My concerns became very real to me as I almost immediately lost all eight of them at the end of the hall into a  great sea of classes who's teachers had decided to declare a universal bathroom break and took to the halls by the dozen. 

Neither my little troop nor I knew how to take turns in the mass urination process, so we all just dispersed into different directions, some against walls with other classes to get in line, some went straight in to the toilet area, and some (me) just sort of did a clumsy pirouette as confused new students passed on either side causing me to turn myself round and round straining to see if there were any familiar faces from the short walk from our classroom.  

The teachers of the hallway classes all looked my way with pity and a hint of disgust.  I felt bad because someone's child could have easily gone down the toilet and been roaming the sewers unbeknownst to me and would never get the sheer joy of hearing me sing the R-E-D song later that afternoon.  I really had no clue how to get them all back to the room from which we came.  And neither did they.  

In fact, at the very same time I was losing 6-7 clonelike children (The eighth one I had fully in my sites.), the principal and an assembled posse with walkie-talkies were describing one particular little girl with milk carton concern.  I heard them telling what she was supposedly wearing  and saying things like " "You try the East wing!" and other uncomfortable sentences like "We've got the doors locked down and there's no one on the playground."   Yikes.

I decided that I would just pretend like whatever little children remained after the congestion subsided, would be the group I take back to my assigned classroom. And then, if there seemed to be some discrepancies when each child found his or her desk, we'd go from there.  

It all turned out better than fine because the missing "purple dress with a flower on it" girl actually was sleeping in OUR classroom!  By the time I got in there, someone in the walkie-talkie group was guiding a drowsy Goldilocks  back to her assigned room and  once again all Kindy classes were accounted for.  I was not the only one confused that day.  There are probably more than 13 classes in each grade so this school is always an absolute beehive of activity on the first day of each new year.

The rest of the day we stayed safely in our room singing those perky songs and coloring with fresh new crayons.  It was cute how some of them didn't know which crayon was red even after we learned the song.  Oh what simple beginnings we come from.  

One precious tiny boy, who appeared to mumble quietly in a language I couldn't make out(perhaps Farsi, perhaps English), kept methodically going over to his backpack and loading up all of his supplies.  The sub or I would walk over and say "These stay right here Soandso.  This is YOUR cubby and your crayons will be here for you when you come back tomorrow."  He'd give an unintelligible  but unemotional argument and allow us to escort him back to his desk, only to start the whole cycle over. He must have done that eight or more times in about a two hour period.  It was quite peculiar to me but also so endearing.  Poor little guy probably has to learn English as well as adjusting to a school environment.  

I left school that day feeling like Dandy, with all of his delays and physical challenges, might just pull off this Kindergarten thing.  Of course, that same day, in a room around the corner from ours, some other parent was probably kindly unpacking my boy's bag over and over, pointing him back to his chair.  Only time will tell I suppose.  Happy weekend all!