Then, at 3:00am. Violent muffled screams went off in my head. I proceeded to apply them to my dream and continue sleeping. But wait, I know that voice. It is the something's-not -right-in- my-life banshee call of the 6 year old. Ok. So I folded myself like a rusty arm chair and started the getting out of bed process. I shuffled along resembling Tim Conway doing his old Mrs. HaWiggins bit and began closing in on the door at the end of our small bedroom.
Suddenly, and it always is, WHOOSH! Jamey is up in his wild check the house frenzy, racing past me headed for the stairs. "Oh." I thought to myself. "(yawn)He's on the case." There I wisely froze out of his way for the instant that he'd be brushing by. Then, he reaches the stairs mumbling something about tripping the alarm. "Alarm? I wonder what that is?" I began thinking to myself with incredible precision. We don't have any sort of alarm, so I make a mental note to ask Jamey about this later when down he goes into a ninja crouch at the foot of the stairs. I continued to stare at him fully trusting he knew something I didn't as he ducked and stepped in slow motion over and around the space in front of him on the first three steps of the empty staircase. Meanwhile, the screaming continues overhead. Now Ratchet is awake and calling down to us dutifully from the landing above. "Dad? Dandy needs something." He states, trying not to sound annoyed.
At this point Jamey has only made it a few more steps up because he is having to climb through all kinds of invisible laser beam trip wires to get to his son-who's clearly in danger. Instead of blazing past him to the bellowing child or asking what the heck he's doing, somewhere inside me I start to suspect something funny is going on. Much too tired for such things now, I make a note to laugh hysterically about it in the morning, and head to the restroom.
Once Jamey finally realizes he's not on a mission impossible, and finally makes it upstairs to trouble shoot, he manages to handle the situation ,which was of course not a situation at all. Dandy, in his own convoluted dream sequence, thought there was no light on in the upstairs bathroom or anywhere else (though there were) and had begun his own not so silent alarm process. So many alarms, so little wakefulness between them. Poor chaps.
Bad sitcom completed, to bed we headed to resume the blissful descent into nigh nigh. Wait, no. Is that another murderous scream? I'm afraid so. This time Dandy was violently complaining that the air vent was too loud in his room and he couldn't hear his cd properly. Really? Wow. Good times.
Next it's the chihuahua's turn to shine. Tulip, who is now awake and curious in her room, suddenly needs to see her mommy and begins feverishly trying to claw the door down between us crying loudly. I get back up, this time feeling jittery and weak from low blood sugar. I go for my glucose tabs beside the bed, but in my loosey goosey state I dropped and clumsily lunged at the huge bottle causing a loud maraca sound to scatter across the room as I caught them again. Jamey did no leaping this time but no doubt would have if I'd waited until he'd drifted off just a little further. I went in and shushed the dog once, but a half an hour later she was back at it begging to come in the rest of the house. This time I just opened the door and she shot straight to the warm spot between us in the bed-the very reason why both dogs get shut in another room at night in the first place. But, you know, because it's THAT kind of night, instead of nestling down to sleep, Tulie begins an elaborate self cleaning process with all kinds of smacking and kicking about, shaking the bed with each move. OH MERCIFUL NOT QUITE DAY it was annoying!
So the dog was sent packing back to her assigned room where she chose to save her own life by shutting it until morning. Bless her little tan hide.
This morning after waking to an even worse blood sugar spell and resting it off, I finally managed to pull it together and work in one huge chortle over Jamey's nocturnal stair maneuvers. Sadly, he was in no mood to fully enjoy his own antics, so I am forced to share my sighting with you to get it all properly off my chest. Whew!
Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I did get J's permission to make this report. You see, when it comes to my amusement (or taking on imaginary intricate security devices to save a child in crises), my hubby is always there for me!
Life is goood. Dreams are better. :D
*Had to rush this to post to remain timely and fit in a quick trip out of town. Please forgive blatant errors in writing tenses and such. !SKNAHT