Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Oh what a night!!

BUT NOT in that Frankie Valli seventies song way-- if anyone is now humming that old tune to themselves and imagining circling the skating rinks in their minds like I am.  Perhaps you don't think in song.  Anyway, the particular night I'm speaking of was last night, and now that you mention it, it did seem to be cruising along like a well oiled wheel on a skate. R.E.M. sleep was fully in place with all the cartoon peaceful sounds of sleep going on around us. Honk-shoo. Honk-shoo.  Delightful.

Then, at 3:00am.  Violent muffled screams went off in my head.  I proceeded to apply them to my dream and continue sleeping.  But wait, I know that voice.  It is the something's-not -right-in- my-life banshee call of the 6 year old.   Ok. So I folded myself like a rusty arm chair and started the getting out of bed process.  I shuffled along resembling Tim Conway doing his old Mrs. HaWiggins bit and began closing in on the door at the end of our small bedroom. 

Suddenly, and it always is, WHOOSH! Jamey is up in his wild check the house frenzy, racing past me headed for the stairs.  "Oh." I thought to myself. "(yawn)He's on the case."  There I wisely froze out of his way for the instant that he'd be brushing by.  Then, he reaches the stairs mumbling something about tripping the alarm.  "Alarm? I wonder what that is?" I began thinking to myself with incredible precision.  We don't have any sort of alarm, so I make a mental note to ask Jamey about this later when down he goes into a ninja crouch at the foot of the stairs.  I continued to stare at him fully trusting he knew something I didn't as he ducked and stepped in slow motion over and around the space in front of him on the first three steps of the empty staircase.  Meanwhile, the screaming continues overhead.  Now Ratchet is awake and calling down to us dutifully from the landing above.  "Dad? Dandy needs something." He states, trying not to sound annoyed.  

At this point Jamey has only made it a few more steps up because he is having to climb through all kinds of invisible laser beam trip wires to get to his son-who's clearly in danger.  Instead of blazing past him to the bellowing child or asking what the heck he's doing, somewhere inside me I start to suspect something funny is going on.  Much too tired for such things now, I make a note to laugh hysterically about it in the morning, and head to the restroom.  

Once Jamey finally realizes he's not on a mission impossible, and finally makes it upstairs to trouble shoot, he manages to handle the situation ,which was of course not a situation at all.  Dandy, in his own convoluted dream sequence, thought there was no light on in the upstairs bathroom or anywhere else (though there were) and had begun his own not so silent alarm process.  So many alarms, so little wakefulness between them.  Poor chaps.

Bad sitcom completed, to bed we headed to resume the blissful descent into nigh nigh.  Wait, no.  Is that another murderous scream?  I'm afraid so.  This time Dandy was violently complaining that the air vent was too loud in his room and he couldn't hear his cd properly.  Really? Wow. Good times.

Next it's the chihuahua's turn to shine.  Tulip, who is now awake and curious in her room, suddenly needs to see her mommy and begins feverishly trying to claw the door down between us crying loudly.  I get back up, this time feeling jittery and weak from low blood sugar.  I go for my glucose tabs beside the bed, but in my loosey goosey state I dropped and clumsily lunged at the huge bottle causing a loud maraca sound to scatter across the room as I caught them again.  Jamey did no leaping this time but no doubt would have if I'd waited until he'd drifted off just a little further.  I went in and shushed the dog once, but a half an hour later she was back at it begging to come in the rest of the house.  This time I just opened the door and she shot straight to the warm spot between us in the bed-the very reason why both dogs get shut in another room at night in the first place.  But, you know, because it's THAT kind of night, instead of nestling down to sleep, Tulie begins an elaborate self cleaning process with all kinds of smacking and kicking about, shaking the bed with each move.  OH MERCIFUL NOT QUITE DAY it was annoying!  

So the dog was sent packing back to her assigned room where she chose to save her own life by shutting it until morning. Bless her little tan hide.

This morning after waking to an even worse blood sugar spell and resting it off, I finally managed to pull it together and work in one huge chortle over Jamey's nocturnal stair maneuvers.  Sadly, he was in no mood to fully enjoy his own antics, so I am forced to share my sighting with you to get it all properly off my chest.  Whew!

 Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I did get J's permission to make this report. You see, when it comes to my amusement (or taking on imaginary intricate security devices to save a child in crises), my hubby is always there for me!  
Life is goood. Dreams are better. :D

  
*Had to rush this to post to remain timely and fit in a quick trip out of town.  Please forgive blatant errors in writing tenses and such.  !SKNAHT


13 comments:

Jamey Clayberg said...

i swear, there was some kind of phantom alarm... :)

Scout said...

Oh, hee hee hee. What a chain of events.

Bekah said...

Thanks for the smile, that is great blog fodder! :-)

AfricaBleu said...

Gasp--Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Such a good thing Jamey has taken TKD, eh?

Tally said...

OH SHAN!!! That was AWESOME!! You know I LOVE Jamey's antics. This one was right up there with the 'slide bounce off'. Oh howl!! "tripped the alarm"....."ninja crouch"......priceless!!! He is such a trooper for letting you share! :D We thank you, J.

cgivans said...

Wow, and I thought we had some crazy nights!!!! No mission impossibles....just screaming infant who we find simply wants to play at 4am...

dive said...

Hee hee. Thank you, Shan for a whole Hollywood comedy thriller packed into one gigglesome post.
Wonderful.

Maria said...

Of course, being diabetic, I glomed in on your low blood sugar weavings. God, I hate those. I never know I am having low blood sugar, though. Bing can tell just by looking at me and more than once has had to nearly force feed me sweet tarts or orange juice. I just know that I get really, really crabby and...off but I NEVER seem to understand that it is low blood sugar.

dean r said...

love this post.. hee hee

Missy said...

Late December back in 63...
I am blaming you for this song currently being stuck in my head.

That is pretty funny about your hubby though. Sorry the rest of the night wasn't quite as entertaining, but hey, you can laugh about it now, right?

MmeBenaut said...

Ah men, the faithful protectors! What a night for you. I can commiserate since most of my nights are full of one or other of the cats creating some scene or other. I can relate to the pet in the middle and licking, smacking noises and the occasional slurp on my cheek as if to say, "you need a wash too Mum"!

Joy said...

What a night indeed! You'd need to get a whole day's sleep after that. But I would have let the doggie in :-) That's just me, I guess :-)

Melissa McMahan said...

ha..you're quite the funny woman! glad you found my blog cause now i have the pleasure of enjoying your's. :)