Happy Birthday Arly!!

We have seen some pretty rockin' times together my friend and that was only in the first forty years of life! Thanks for being the Romy to my Michele all these years. We'll keep our heads held high together no matter what (hair or clothing)challenges await us in the future!  Love you much! :D

Bear Grylls vs. blue suede hiking shoes

Ratchet should be shaking a leg at school today in hopes of landing the part of Elvis in their fifth grade musical review scheduled for next month.  He's half hearted about the whole thing because there are no big speaking roles-just music, music and more music.  Apparently he prefers acting to singing though he did do both in last years production of  'Santa's Ho Ho Ho Down' (or something to that effect), where he enjoyed a little taste of fame after playing the Bearded One himself with a full bellied chortle and ad-libbed dance jig that surprised and thrilled the audience toward the end of the show.  

This year, the only part that interests him is the Elvis number.  So, as any scary stage mom would, this morning I made him show me what he was going to do at the audition.  Nonplussed by the idea of becoming Elvis in his own kitchen at breakfast time, he stood there and dutifully sang 'Teddy Bear'.  Well, this wouldn't do as you can imagine, so I  was forced to get up and show him the wide legged bent kneed stance he was going to need to pull off a believable impression.  After seeing his mother gyrating around in the kitchen with arms quaking out to the sides, his skepticism about my Elvis knowledge increased.  What else were we to do than consult the all knowing Youtube for a proper instructional on The King.  I think Ratchet was surprised to find Elvis doing many of my same actions only in such a way that they didn't really look so redonkulous coming from him.  I can't imagine.  I guess we'll see soon enough how it all turns out.  I told him that in a class of 300 or so kids, there were bound to be a few good Elvis impersonators, so he'd better bring his "A" game for the ladies in the room.  I told you I was scary. 

Speaking of characters we pretend to play. Yesterday we took a picnic dinner and went on a short woodsy hike outside of town to get a feel for the new "Outdoorburg" persona we are working on this year.(It doesn't come entirely naturally for some of us.) While waiting on our wandering leader who was going ahead for a quick check, I made Ratchet do his Man vs. Wild-Bear Grylls impression for me.  Because he was in serious hiker mode, he didn't really get into it as he sometimes does. But you'll get the idea.  Be careful with the volume though as Dandy does some impromptu yelling at the beginning and I'm not exactly quiet in stage mom mode myself..  

Life is a stage you know.  A tick infested stage.

Thursday in the big town

I've got a few tidbits to share before I head off to bed and lose it all.  I want to remember this day and the simple pleasures it gave me before I sleep and it becomes, well, yesterday. 

This morning, a.k.a. trash day, I planned to position myself at the window in clear view of the can at the curb outside.  This was not hard for me as I am usually at this window enjoying 1-3 cups of coffee and the company of my computer friends most a.m.'s.  My plan was to watch the "waste team" as they came across the poster board you may or may not remember from Ratchets cowboy b-day party.  It looks a little something like this:

And it was sitting next to the black can waiting to be disposed of.  Now, I ask you, what regular human could resist picking up this poster with an adult sized hole sitting atop a goofy picture and NOT immediately put their head through it?  It just isn't done.  Knowing this and hoping not to be disappointed, I carefully peeked out the window.  There were two guys there hanging from the back of the truck so I was encouraged.  Then the one closest to the curb hopped off and methodically went for the can, first tossing the top bags until it was lighter and then lifting the whole can in.  Then, still lacking enthusiasm, he grabbed the extra stuff including the poster board and tossed it all into the back of the truck.  

"Wait."  I thought, as he looked at what he'd just thrown.  Then YES, he pulled the stiff board back out of the trash and popped it right onto his head to show his partner!  I thrilled as I watched them smile at each other.  I kept watching and sure enough, the first dude wore the thing around his head until the next stop where he proceeded to get out and stand perfectly still, hands supporting the sides of the picture until the driver of the truck noticed him! Finally, after giving him a good look and laughing with the buddy in back, he jogged around to the passenger side of the trash truck, opened the door and tossed in the poster for safe keeping.  I LOL'ed and clapped with glee inside my house knowing Jamey's silly poster will live on another day.  It was so fun giving those dudes a little lift in their stinky stanky Thursday run.  I sighed thinking that was really all I needed to happen today. Then, I instantly wondered what we could do next week to surprise our hard working trash getters.  Maybe it was a one time thrill for us all. I supposed a live possum surprise wouldn't thrill as much as frighten/annoy, so that big guy under the house may have to wait.  Whatever the case, it was good not-so-clean fun on this particular morning. 

After school, my boys and I went to the park and enjoyed the perfect Spring day.  There is a creek running along beside it and they both took off their shoes and waded through until their feet were bright pink and nearly frozen.  I sat on a rock at  the edge of the water like the lizard that I am, and just soaked in all the Lithium my brain could process.  Dude, what a rush.  Dandy, normally physically challenged by any new terrain, was amazing as he took to the cold rocky surface like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings.  He had all fours down at several points, but kept this determined look mixed with wonder on his face as he maneuvered the rocks awkwardly with his bony tender frame.  After about 45 minutes, he announced from the middle of  the stream that he wanted to stay there[with his Precious]forever.  Baha.  The sunshine was affecting us all apparently.

When it was almost time to get back home for dinner, Ratchet decided to ride his bike up the hill toward home and Dandy stayed for one last hurrah on the playground.  While The D was messing about, we ran into one of Ratchet's favorite teachers of all time (from Kindy and first grade).  We rarely see her but have been following her blog and praying for her as she has been battling cancer for over a year, and has been a huge inspiration to hundreds of people she's encountered along the way.  

Her daughter took this picture of us today and she put it up on her blog just for my big boy to see and to leave a special message to him.  It pained me to hug her goodbye as the doctors have given her only a couple months and I wasn't sure we'd get to experience her delightful personality and smile again this side of heaven. If the Lord chooses to heal her and keep using her to his glory on earth, there will be a huge celebration of this wonderful lady, no doubt.  She simply glows with the love of Christ and I felt blessed to have seen her on this perfect Spring day.

Now though, it is midnight and my Thursday has officially ended- therefore so must the story. I hope you all have as wonderful a Friday as I enjoyed today.  And may the weekend give you cause to be wanted by the sheriff fer all that fun your a havin'.  XOXO

Oh what a night!!

BUT NOT in that Frankie Valli seventies song way-- if anyone is now humming that old tune to themselves and imagining circling the skating rinks in their minds like I am.  Perhaps you don't think in song.  Anyway, the particular night I'm speaking of was last night, and now that you mention it, it did seem to be cruising along like a well oiled wheel on a skate. R.E.M. sleep was fully in place with all the cartoon peaceful sounds of sleep going on around us. Honk-shoo. Honk-shoo.  Delightful.

Then, at 3:00am.  Violent muffled screams went off in my head.  I proceeded to apply them to my dream and continue sleeping.  But wait, I know that voice.  It is the something's-not -right-in- my-life banshee call of the 6 year old.   Ok. So I folded myself like a rusty arm chair and started the getting out of bed process.  I shuffled along resembling Tim Conway doing his old Mrs. HaWiggins bit and began closing in on the door at the end of our small bedroom. 

Suddenly, and it always is, WHOOSH! Jamey is up in his wild check the house frenzy, racing past me headed for the stairs.  "Oh." I thought to myself. "(yawn)He's on the case."  There I wisely froze out of his way for the instant that he'd be brushing by.  Then, he reaches the stairs mumbling something about tripping the alarm.  "Alarm? I wonder what that is?" I began thinking to myself with incredible precision.  We don't have any sort of alarm, so I make a mental note to ask Jamey about this later when down he goes into a ninja crouch at the foot of the stairs.  I continued to stare at him fully trusting he knew something I didn't as he ducked and stepped in slow motion over and around the space in front of him on the first three steps of the empty staircase.  Meanwhile, the screaming continues overhead.  Now Ratchet is awake and calling down to us dutifully from the landing above.  "Dad? Dandy needs something." He states, trying not to sound annoyed.  

At this point Jamey has only made it a few more steps up because he is having to climb through all kinds of invisible laser beam trip wires to get to his son-who's clearly in danger.  Instead of blazing past him to the bellowing child or asking what the heck he's doing, somewhere inside me I start to suspect something funny is going on.  Much too tired for such things now, I make a note to laugh hysterically about it in the morning, and head to the restroom.  

Once Jamey finally realizes he's not on a mission impossible, and finally makes it upstairs to trouble shoot, he manages to handle the situation ,which was of course not a situation at all.  Dandy, in his own convoluted dream sequence, thought there was no light on in the upstairs bathroom or anywhere else (though there were) and had begun his own not so silent alarm process.  So many alarms, so little wakefulness between them.  Poor chaps.

Bad sitcom completed, to bed we headed to resume the blissful descent into nigh nigh.  Wait, no.  Is that another murderous scream?  I'm afraid so.  This time Dandy was violently complaining that the air vent was too loud in his room and he couldn't hear his cd properly.  Really? Wow. Good times.

Next it's the chihuahua's turn to shine.  Tulip, who is now awake and curious in her room, suddenly needs to see her mommy and begins feverishly trying to claw the door down between us crying loudly.  I get back up, this time feeling jittery and weak from low blood sugar.  I go for my glucose tabs beside the bed, but in my loosey goosey state I dropped and clumsily lunged at the huge bottle causing a loud maraca sound to scatter across the room as I caught them again.  Jamey did no leaping this time but no doubt would have if I'd waited until he'd drifted off just a little further.  I went in and shushed the dog once, but a half an hour later she was back at it begging to come in the rest of the house.  This time I just opened the door and she shot straight to the warm spot between us in the bed-the very reason why both dogs get shut in another room at night in the first place.  But, you know, because it's THAT kind of night, instead of nestling down to sleep, Tulie begins an elaborate self cleaning process with all kinds of smacking and kicking about, shaking the bed with each move.  OH MERCIFUL NOT QUITE DAY it was annoying!  

So the dog was sent packing back to her assigned room where she chose to save her own life by shutting it until morning. Bless her little tan hide.

This morning after waking to an even worse blood sugar spell and resting it off, I finally managed to pull it together and work in one huge chortle over Jamey's nocturnal stair maneuvers.  Sadly, he was in no mood to fully enjoy his own antics, so I am forced to share my sighting with you to get it all properly off my chest.  Whew!

 Oh, and just in case you're wondering, I did get J's permission to make this report. You see, when it comes to my amusement (or taking on imaginary intricate security devices to save a child in crises), my hubby is always there for me!  

Life is goood. Dreams are better. :D

  

*Had to rush this to post to remain timely and fit in a quick trip out of town.  Please forgive blatant errors in writing tenses and such.  !SKNAHT

Whole brained but half rumped

Boy, it really has been a long time since I've actually written much of anything on here, hasn't it?  I think I got out of the habit of writing while the Winter funk was swirling around in my brain.  I don't usually find this the place to express my inner most feelings(squish squish) and I don't really enjoy being super serious on my blog.  I also don't hang on a thought long enough to be interesting most days. 

Considering I tend to prefer intake to being the main voice in the room, I would rather look in on you folks, or read/watch/listen to the clever people around me than come up with my own topics for presentation.  Of course, it could just be because I'm as slow as MOlasses being quietly released from the tiniest of spickits.  (Spickit isn't a word? I'm pretty sure other people say this so I'm going with it.) Maybe if Spellcheck approved of me more....

>>Update: OH SPIGOT!  Right Right!  I didn't try that one.  Wordlilly's got my back!

But, now that I've broken the seal on the syrup bottle, I might as well share a few tidbits about lil' ole me.  Fairly recently, among many many more meaningful and world changing epic things, I've made a hobby out of taking Facebook quizzes.  

Yes it IS awesome-I KNOW!

ANYway, I've taken a few of those lately upon check-in and have decided they are curiously helpful in explaining some key pieces to this peculiar being we call SHAN.

So now with much testing and  without further ado, here's what I now know about myself:

1) If I were a dog I would be an AUSTRALIAN SHEPHERD.  

Hmm...Ok.  Family oriented, reserved but not to be taken for shy or insecure(still up in the air at this point) and extremely hairy if I recall from the picture.

 Upon reflection, there was a time when I had to beg my mom to let me shave my legs before debuting my pep club uniform at school in 7th grade.  I guess that was when my hairiness was at its pinnacle. No young lady wants to be known as "Chimp-the other mascot" during those tender middle school years.  "This breed is not for everyone" rings true here as well.

2)I TYPE roughly 47 words per minute currently-which beats my all time high in high school of 37.  Blogging is honing my skill beautifully.  I'm really a marvel to behold after twenty something short years. 

3)Typing tests won't keep me from what I was meant to do, however, and it was incredibly keen on Facebook's part to realize the JOB MOST SUITED TO ME is...pause for dramatic effect..

 DANCER.  

But how did they..? (fanning eyes, gulping and rolling lips inward) 

4)The next test, though entirely separate, continued with my natural leanings. For what better place to dance than the CITY assigned to me?  NYC, NEW YORK!! Start spreadin' the news, I'm leavin' as soon as the recession ends.

5)Why not?  I already have the NORTHERN AMERICAN ACCENT fully in place, even if I've only lived in Oklahoma and Arkansas. I feel certain I could do a convincing Boastonian as well. Geography can't quiet the yankee in me!

6)But if I get no roles because my jealous GREEN HEART gets the best of me..  (What do they know anyway.  Those girls are all lights-no music.  I'm the real thing.  With a little cosmetic surgery, a full-time nanny and several years of physical training, why I could..)

7)As a fallback, I might get in the mix and do what comes natural for me as a SOCIAL REFORM THEORIST. Because, I've now been likened to VOLTAIRE, and that's just the way I think.  (If I understood or cared a lick about such philosophical things.)

8)What else would make my WRITING STYLE resemble VIRGINIA WOOLF'S?  She and I...well apparently though brilliant woman's libbers, tending to be a wee suicidal at times, are/were certainly all about the stream-of-conciousness writing style.  Did I eat breakfast?  Oh look, my nails have grown!

9)Though I'm a little on the high maintenance side, if in fact I were a CLASSIC NOVEL, blog friend Robyn would  appreciate me-as testing proves me to be the book TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD.  Ah, but I realize now that's just the social reformer working itself out again.  Tell true Facebook.  Tell true.

10)It's really what you can expect from a WHOLE BRAINED person like myself.  I'm rare in that sense.  So uniquely even minded I am, that I'm teriffically mediocre at almost everything! I eat and write with the left hand, but sport and support with the right.  I have a moderate amount of interest in the Arts as well as the Sciences but neither ignites a complete fire in my....

11)FEMALE BRAIN.  I'm just too girly for passion I s'pose. ( Titter titter titter-squeak!) 

So there it is.  My homemade compilation meme.  Feel free to hunt down and take all of these quizzes yourself.  It can be worked into any schedule with just a few minutes a day over several weeks time.  I can't honestly think of what I would have done without knowing what flavor of ice cream I am- not that I would share that with you now and end on such a cold note. 

 I wonder if there is a casserole quiz...uummm..I'm hungry. What would Facebook  make of this new finding?