Tuesday, April 22, 2008

They're COMING!!!!

Oooh, it's a dark and gloomy Tuesday morning and I just had a quick scare.  It is the season of Spring that gets me on edge.  What was that?  Oh, I thought that piece of fuzz in the corner was a spider.  WAIT!   I just blew on it and it IS!!  Oh man, here we go! 
That was just one reenactment of how Spring recently started for me.  Oh sure, I love the flowers in full bloom on the trees outside my house.  I love that little glimmer of interest I get in gardening when the weather is perfectly temperate.  I love taking the kids to the park leisurely glancing over my book at them as one continually rescues the other from a perilous hanging from high places on the jungle gym, feet scrambling and screaming.  Oh the pure bliss of fresh air and outdoors and silly offspring!  *INHALE*

But then there ARE those bugs.  First it's the flies.  Then a butterfly or two-but who doesn't like those really? Now, my nemesis the grasshopper has arrived back in town. I know this because one almost caused me to make a scene in the entrance at Wal-Mart yesterday as I started to barrel in for groceries.  There HE was, as long as my middle finger and just as vicious a gesture, daring me to cart around him on either side.  I didn't have the proper birth I needed to safely pass him so I froze abruptly.  And just stared, wondering if we could go yet another day without groceries.  Then, I looked around to see if  anyone was taking notice of my dilemma.  Sadly, I mean, ahem, fortunately, no one shared my quandary.  So I slowly backed the cart away from the hideous stiff backed mirador and went in front of the checkers clearly shaken that even my fluorescent lit "indoors" is no reprieve from the creachsters of Spring.

 But alas, when it's time for the spiders to rear their ugly heads and head  right into my house, there really is no safety for Shan anymore.  I'm on edge and I'm wearing shoes(and maybe gloves)-at all times. 
 Last year at some point, and I don't know if Jamey believes me on this one, I had developed such a keen eye for spiders I could ALWAYS find one( my record was three at once-shiver) just sitting by the baseboards, ready to dart at first look.  And no, I'm not crazy I killed several of these such evil-doers myself out of desperation to escape their venomous clutches! 
You see here at my house, the ONLY spider that ever wants to actually live with us is the BROWN RECLUSE!  The same ROTyourFlesh RECLUSE that almost killed my hearty chihuahua a few years ago!  These are not the dear sweet Julia Robert's voiced Charlotte's that add personality(if you go for that sort of thing)to your garden.  Nope.  These are slightly more cupboard hiding and well...FLESH ROTTING!!  So I wear shoes because I want to keep my toes, as silly as it sounds. And, as soon as I see the second brown and ugly, I'm fogging the place-ECO or not!


Arl said...

Shan I am sorry you have to live in such fear. I didn't realize your fear of grasshoppers, did you know that is the name of Audry's soccer team?

This reminds me of when I would be taking you home and I would have the job of clearing the path of frogs for my best friend. I would still clear the path of any insects, frogs or anything that maybe smaller than me for you.

Hang in there.

dive said...

I'm so glad I live in a country where spiders are my friends, Shan.
And grasshoppers are cute. Pick 'em up and take a look.
They make good eating, too (sorry … didn't you just know I'd try to gross you out)?

Shan said...

Oh Arly, I know you would still be my frog corraler if we lived near each other. And I would....Well, what comes to mind is shoving you down in a convenience store for funnies, but surely I could do something nicer for you now dear friend. (sweet smile)

DIVE! I thought you were a vegan! I guess if you eat grasshoppers you might still be semi-veg. I'm semi-veg for sure. The only meat I eat is hamburger, roast, pork(most types) oh, and chicken.

Koi said...

Ok so Like 7 years ago I thought I saw a grasshopper jump on my purse as I was leaving my house for work. I looked, but couldn't find it. I get to work and low and behold 30 minutes later the WHOLE salon is being terrorized by this little thing. Praise the Lord there happened to be a man in for his monthly snip who ushered the little terrorist out.
The BR picture at the bottom of your post is horrifying!

Scout said...

I can handle grasshoppers as long as we aren't in a year of being over run with them. But the spiders! Oh, gosh, the spiders! We have a pontoon boat, and it is home to so many visious looking beasts, I can barely stand to be on the thing. And some of them are the flesh eaters, too, so I don't think I'm over reacting.

Terroni said...

I live with my roommate's cat, so the only bug I really worry about is fleas. I will coat her (the cat, not my roommate) in pesticide at the first sign of a flea.

Maria said...

Everyone has something. For me, it is lady bugs. Everyone thinks they are so cute. Well, they are not cute when they cover your bedroom window. Then they are just ....buggy.

Anonymous said...

although i miss the beautiful spring-time of ark...i am so glad to live in a relatively bug-free state. well, aside from ticks. and praying mantises...which are all creepy and stare-y.

WendyJanelle said...

Haha! Grasshoppers don't bother me. And I pick up "the pillars," (as they are affectionately called in my home) and worms by hand all the time.
I can handle little spiders. Squash those suckers. It's the big ones that freak me out. I hate long legs. UGGHHH. Shudder. And if there is visible hair....run for the hills! That totally flips me out. I've actually ran and gotten neighbors (strangers at the time) to come into my home and kill a spider in my living room.
Yet camping in a tent does not bother me, go figure.