Thursday, May 1, 2008

Get thee to a big cit-ee!

Man!  Oh man!  I have lost all hope in my small town's ability to keep me youthfully yet tastefully clad!  I went to most of the stores in Siloam yesterday hoping to find one (just one?) wicked cool but conservatively classic short sleeved shirt to wear tonight on my big date** with my betrothed.  I came home empty handed and despondent.

I decided early this year that I would make a conscious effort to dress my age and not commit all of the usual hot weather fashion felonies that temp my inner exhibitionist to get her skin on!!  I DO SO LOVE to hang my arms and legs out of their cloth containers the second the breeze turns to blaze!  It is only natural to me.  I love to bake in the sun and fine tune my freckles to the point that if you stare at me and let your eyes go jiggly out of focus, I look the same Coppertone shade as my hair.  

Having been born in Oklahoma but not knowing anyone from my previous bloodlines, I always like to think I have at least a little bit of Native American in my skin.  My Grandma being part Chickasaw, always assured me of this possibility-no doubt to keep our differences at bay and me feeling ever included in the family tree. 

 As I got older and was in charge of my own skin care, I cleverly discovered (many blisters and one skin cancer later) that fake Indian blood or not, I'd better get  myself a big bottle of sunscreen and consider sitting under an awning at the pool when possible.  A move incredibly played with only 6 or so years of college under my belt.

But it was only until recently that I have decided that this sun damaged and now aging skin of mine might need to be covered up a hair more to preserve its dignity by showing less of its polka-dottery.

Oh but I grieve the cuteness of maude fashions!  No more will I allow myself that too short of skirt or those daisy duke length summer pants.  I will NOT entertain a sassy strapless shirt alone.  No.  Not this summer.  I will soon be thirty-blipping-nine and it's time to lose the pigtails folks!  It just is.   

So, out I went to find sleeves and style together as a happily wedded match.  But they were clearly off honeymooning in a much larger city because this pair was nowhere to be seen.  I saw all kinds of teenie bopper trends in all kinds of teenie bopper tininess!  This will not do.  No, not for me. Oh, and BRIGHT colors.  Boy are they ever bringing out the fluorescence of my yesteryear (Ouch!  is that a migraine coming on?).  Bright! It's so Bright!   

I was glaringly forced over to the Misses (Matrons?) department where it seemed like loose and flowing was all the rage.  Hey!  I'm not pregnant!  And in fact I'm certain I won't become that way ever again so why is that....Oh, I get it.  You people seem to think I've given up on the figure watch and have settled into the old mid-life spread.  NO!  of course not!  I have in fact taken several vigorous walks recently that go right in the face of that old argument-so there!!! [Spudder, spudder, shaking finger at the air eyebrows raised]

And here I sit now in my indoors only short shorts.  I'm still hopeful that there are some clever looks awaiting my discovery just inside the city limits of Fayetteville or Rogers, but I'm prepared to go even further if I have to.  I'm not giving up on this vain but also considerate quest to dress myself.  We will all be better for it in the (fully covered) end.  

**More on this topic later.


sarah cool said...

Shannon, your blog entertains me like none other.

I say... you're adorable! Go for the scandelous clothes!

hehe! :)

Tally said...

Nope! I disagree with Sarah. This is our Year of Modesty. I'm closing the door on my mini's too. It was a good, no, great run! I remember being 16, kneeling on the floor in boarding school, while the dorm parents checked to see if my skirt touched the floor. I vowed when I turned 18 I would wear mini skirts as often as I possibly could for as long as I could. It seems we've reached the end of the line, sadly. But I trust Stacy and Clinton. If they say no minis after 35, then I will obey. I'm not totally over tube tops, but I'll follow your lead. (Do I sound trashy or what???) Let's hope for a cooler summer as we ease into our new "conservative" duds......Amen?

Koi said...

I have spider veins I don't want the world to see all over my upper thigh so I've been trying to cover up for a while now. I definitely feel your pain though. Maybe this will help on you endeavor; I found some cute shorts at Old Navy and JC Penny(2 stores I usually hate) and then for shirts I get all of mine off this website called I love their stuff because it's pretty much all cotton and super cute. I hardly ever try to find stuff in actual stores anymore.

MmeBenaut said...

Shan - the sun's a killer but we all need a small dose at least three times a week for our Vitamin D. I've rarely used sunscreen even in our hot summers but then I don't bake out there any more. I too had a skin cancer - an SCC - squamous cell carcinoma - just under my eye but it hasn't made me paranoid. I love the sun on my back too much.

dean r said...

Hi shannon. missing you so much my friend! don't grow too old without me ok? i can't stand it. well the kids really, man they are growing FAST!!
so did you check out koi's comment , just wondering. i can't wait to get back and tell you and the hub and trish the tell all story of indigestion in India. I'm still sick but I'm back in my own bed.
later sweet thing.
dean O

dean r said...

btw, on the age skin deal, when i'm white, there are blue veins visible all over my body, so strange, but my mom said her mom said if we were blue-veined meant royalty.. ha. so what, old is old. ha.and i can stay a day in the sun and it just doesn't tan, it fades so quick.

Shan said...

SarahC-you entertained me first! :D

Ok T, tube top stays but covering the flabbous arms with a wrap!

Koi! Thanks for the tips! I wondered if I should go the online route. Ahh yeahhhh! ;)

Mme B-I hear you on the vitamin D. I definitely need to keep that up! Oh and my cancer spot was the same exact-under right eye. He scooped it really deep. My brother got the more serious melanoma, but I have kept it less serious so far. Ick.

Dean! You got sick in India? I'm going to check on you right now. I kinda like my fat blue veins. They make me feel thinner somehow. xo

Trish said...

OK, I had a birthday last week, and turned four - blipping -ty!!! How did this happen? Anyway, my fave place to find hip clothes that are "tasteful" is J Jill. There's a store at the Promenade. Or, you can check them out online. They are the high end of moderate prices, but they're good quality... Good luck!!

MmeBenaut said...

Gosh Shan, we heard about the tornado damage on our national news. Is everything ok where you are? BTW where are you?

Scout said...

Good luck! I'm a few years older than you and am losing the battle (not hard fought, I confess) against the middle-age spread. But I constantly fight the style/age battle. I don't want to dress like my teen girls, but I don't want to dress like my mother, either. I usually end up shopping by catalog—long live JJill.

Maria said...

My parents were both born in Ireland. My skin, on good days, has been described as "porcelain" and on bad days as "pasty."

I cannot tan. I burn, peel and burn again. Long ago, I gave in to my lily white skin and started protecting it.

My daughter is half Lakota. So she is a mix of lily white Irish and beautifully dark Native American. She tans like a dream, but of course, I still slather sunscreen all over her, which she hates.

Jamey Clayberg said...

If the short-shorts are indoors-only I'm just glad I live in the same house as you, 3 cheers for summer!