I'm too boring for this blog

Well now isn't that a little bit funny.  I just wrote the title of this blog and then accidentally posted it.  I was so boring and unsexy to my own blog, it thought I would be better suited to just post a title than to attempt to drag you guys into my incredibly dull hole with me.  

Cute, publish button.  Verry cute.  But it doesn't keep me from droning on, for I am a nagging infection of boredom who ever so briefly just considered blogging about the small dog-sized hair ball I just swept up from all the hard surfaces of my house.  I think my chihuahua is always tricked into thinking we've gotten a third beast when this happens because she immediately rushes over to my sweepings each time and sniffs out the pile like she's smelling the rump of a new and interesting visitor.  Oops, I guess I did  just blog about sweeping my floor didn't I? Nice one Shans.

I think this week I'm feeling a little melancholy about my home alone situation (hands on cheeks and open mouthed McCauley Culkin style).  It's no doubt the effect of the extroverted me being at home without constant people interaction and reaction. I am sulking in the fact that Trisha just started her job, that Becky is doing freelance(again with the money making-harumph) and Shelley is just up up and moving away.  Boo-hoo and double HISS! Where is that shy little book lovin' introverted shan when you need her anyway.  She'd be good company if she wasn't always wanting "alone time".  Aargh.

 Many days I do happily skip about the house by myself, easily being amused by a particular drawer of clothing or a purposefully "silly walk" I've adopted for funsies.  I listen to my i-pod or  read your blogs and talk on the phone a little to get all my people fixes likity-split!  And "where on earth did the day go?" I nervously giggle realizing I am in fact still in my sleepwear at 1:00pm having been lost in a brain wander half the day.

But sometimes this self containment just doesn't cut it and I feel...well,  plain ol' dull; a Dully Lama of my own not-worth-the-press country.  At least in that case I might have people to oversee that have potential to do something interesting.  

No, it's not that at all.  In this case I think it's me not finding ANYTHING interesting anymore.  I was looking at my t.v. last night wondering why I bother with all those extra accidentally free cable channels.  I don't want to see Tila Tequila choosing which of her suiters she'll date by having contests to see which one can be the MOST disgusting in EVERY way.  

I don't want to watch a big batch of model clones dance around with numbered suitcases in the attempt to make a choosing numbered suitcases game interesting.  I don't even want to watch nervous cooks running around bumping into each other as an ANGRY chef from H-E-double hockey sticks Kitchen yells at them until THEY catch fire from all the pitchfork dodging they are doing around a hot grill.

 With entertainment like this who needs depression? For reals now people COME ON!

I know that this is just my temporary dysphoria speaking.  And come next Thursday, I'll be back at that glowing screen watching 'So you think you can dance dance dance?' in surgical focus with the rest of America.  I'm just busying myself this week living out the quote  "If you're bored it's only because you're a boring person"  to the fullest.  SO BE IT!!  And you can suffer it too dear Shanslookers! 

 Oh my.  I've gone and taken it out on you now haven't I?  Sorry dear friends :)  Do come back won't you?  I promise not to say anything too scandalously raw because frankly,  I'm not interesting enough to do so.  Now, I must be off to pet I mean put my trash out.  XOXO's to you and one raspberry for me.  Plllllpt!

A Musical Meme'

Hi fellow Blogesians!  Here's a meme that comes from the music page of my ipod. I saw it and thought it looked like a heap of fun topped with a hack of spit!  So I said "What the HEY!  Let's do this thing!" All you do is put your player on "shuffle" and answer the questions with the song title.  Piece-o-cake. I usually listen to podcasts so we'll see together what musical bits come up.

1) How would you describe yourself?
RUSH(4th Avenue Jones)-Ok, yes I HAVE been known to take procrastinating to the level of extreme sporting-only to later become a damage causing tornado to get myself ready for the event I had ignored earlier.

2) What do you like in a guy/girl?
Kid A(John Mayer)- What is with these songs!  Is this my I-pod?  Oh yeah, I let my husband load it with things he thought I'd like.  Apparently I don't use the MUSIC feature too much on this thing because I've never heard these first two.

   
3) What is your motto?
Under the Weather(K.T. Tunstall)- Oops, I guess I do use this excuse a lot but it's not the BEST motto to adopt.

4) What do your friends think of you?
John Lee Supertaster(They Might Be Giants)- Alrighty then, this one I know.  I guess my friends are confusing my taster with my smeller.  It is John Lee Super.

5) What do you think about often?
Stoppin' the Love(K.T. Tunstall-again?)- I'll admit I think about this precisely once a month.  It never fails at this particular time each uh...shall we say full moon(howl!), I seriously consider packing up my fat clothes and moving into my van. LEAVE ME ALONE-GAWSH!

6) What do your parents think of you?
Smile(Lilly Allen)-Finally something nice!  Wait a minute, I forgot this is kind of a mean song "At first, when I see you cry yi yi, It makes me smi i ile.  Yes it makes me smi i ile."  NO!  They would NEVER! (runs off crying-because after all I'm a people pleaser)
7) What do you think of your best friend?
Take Me Away(4th Avenue Jones-is this thing mixing?)-"Take me away to the nearest coffee joint!" I believe is the full title

8) What do you think of the person you like? 
Let's Hear That String Part Again(Sufjan Stevens)-I have no clue how to interpret this but I just LOVE anything by Sufjan S!  hearts

9) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Shame for You(Lilly Allen)-"Well now Shannon let's just check the catalog and see what classes are required for this 5th and hopefully final change of majors. Oh well, after all these years it looks like you will be graduating with a B.S. in Shame with a double minor in quality friend making and money sucking. Congratulations!"

10) What do you think when you see the person you like?
Overjoyed(Jars of Clay)- We have a match!

11) What song will they play at your wedding?
All This Time(Sting)- Now, these are finally making sense.

12) What will they play at your funeral?
All good Naysayers Speak Up or Forever Hold Your Peace(Sufjan Stevens)-Well, it's a question too late but I simply can't fudge the list.  It does make for an interesting choice for my funeral though.  I'm sure it would get a few eyebrow raises but once the negative talk ball starts rollin' the party really gets GOIN'! 

13) What is your hobby/interest?
Bed,Bed,Bed(They Might Be Giants) SCORE!!  Now the Shano-Nano tells true!
(update: Terroni! Sleeping! Sleeping is an interest, even a hobby for me at times.  I speak of nothing else here cheeky girl!!:)

14) What is your biggest fear?
Soul Meets Body(Death Cab for Cutie)-Interesting.  Verrry Interesting.  I thought it was having a toad hop on me. 

15) What is your biggest secret?
Desert Rose(Sting)-Post Secret- I don't water my roses. SHARP INHALE OF SHOCK!

16) What do you think of your friends?
Head over Heals(Tears for Fears)-Awwww...My ALL TIME Favorite group comes up when I think of my friends. I am, in fact, head over heals for all of you. I'm biting my lip and shaking my head right now as well as Bill Clinton ever did.

17) What is your theme song?
Change(Tears for Fears-ipod hates to leave them just yet)-Wait a minute here!  Am I running for office?

18) What do you think of your family?
Monumental Continental(4th Avenue Jones)-These lyrics say it all. "Stretched out four-door Continental. Enough for me plus all my kinfolk. That's how we rollin'!"

19) What is your best friend's theme song?
Mad World(Tears for Fears-yet again!)-Looks like my little i-poddy's got a sense of humor.  OH YOU!! pinch pinch

20) What is your mood right now?
Out of Egypt, Into the Great Laugh of Mankind and I shake the dirt from my sandals(Sufjan Stevens)- Well, I uh, didn't realize a mood could be so specific.

21) If your heart could talk what would it say?
White Shadows(Cold Play)- There just aren't any dark ones in there.  It's all fairy dust and butterflies so I'm sure my heart would sound like Tinkerbell if the little darlin' could talk.

22) What do your co-workers think of you?
Breathe(Anna Nalick)- The lyrics are saying something about unraveling my latest mistake. This is a dumb meme.

23) What does your future look like?

Clap your hands(They Might be Giants)- They seem to have the most appropriate songs on my Nano.  Yeah for bright futures!!  And the end of long memes.  Clap Clap Clap Clap!

Get thee to a big cit-ee!

Man!  Oh man!  I have lost all hope in my small town's ability to keep me youthfully yet tastefully clad!  I went to most of the stores in Siloam yesterday hoping to find one (just one?) wicked cool but conservatively classic short sleeved shirt to wear tonight on my big date** with my betrothed.  I came home empty handed and despondent.

I decided early this year that I would make a conscious effort to dress my age and not commit all of the usual hot weather fashion felonies that temp my inner exhibitionist to get her skin on!!  I DO SO LOVE to hang my arms and legs out of their cloth containers the second the breeze turns to blaze!  It is only natural to me.  I love to bake in the sun and fine tune my freckles to the point that if you stare at me and let your eyes go jiggly out of focus, I look the same Coppertone shade as my hair.  

Having been born in Oklahoma but not knowing anyone from my previous bloodlines, I always like to think I have at least a little bit of Native American in my skin.  My Grandma being part Chickasaw, always assured me of this possibility-no doubt to keep our differences at bay and me feeling ever included in the family tree. 

 As I got older and was in charge of my own skin care, I cleverly discovered (many blisters and one skin cancer later) that fake Indian blood or not, I'd better get  myself a big bottle of sunscreen and consider sitting under an awning at the pool when possible.  A move incredibly played with only 6 or so years of college under my belt.

But it was only until recently that I have decided that this sun damaged and now aging skin of mine might need to be covered up a hair more to preserve its dignity by showing less of its polka-dottery.

Oh but I grieve the cuteness of maude fashions!  No more will I allow myself that too short of skirt or those daisy duke length summer pants.  I will NOT entertain a sassy strapless shirt alone.  No.  Not this summer.  I will soon be thirty-blipping-nine and it's time to lose the pigtails folks!  It just is.   

So, out I went to find sleeves and style together as a happily wedded match.  But they were clearly off honeymooning in a much larger city because this pair was nowhere to be seen.  I saw all kinds of teenie bopper trends in all kinds of teenie bopper tininess!  This will not do.  No, not for me. Oh, and BRIGHT colors.  Boy are they ever bringing out the fluorescence of my yesteryear (Ouch!  is that a migraine coming on?).  Bright! It's so Bright!   

I was glaringly forced over to the Misses (Matrons?) department where it seemed like loose and flowing was all the rage.  Hey!  I'm not pregnant!  And in fact I'm certain I won't become that way ever again so why is that....Oh, I get it.  You people seem to think I've given up on the figure watch and have settled into the old mid-life spread.  NO!  of course not!  I have in fact taken several vigorous walks recently that go right in the face of that old argument-so there!!! [Spudder, spudder, shaking finger at the air eyebrows raised]

And here I sit now in my indoors only short shorts.  I'm still hopeful that there are some clever looks awaiting my discovery just inside the city limits of Fayetteville or Rogers, but I'm prepared to go even further if I have to.  I'm not giving up on this vain but also considerate quest to dress myself.  We will all be better for it in the (fully covered) end.  

**More on this topic later.

I show and then I tell

This is my 2005 calender of  'Andy Warhol's Cats' that I kept and kept because I love love love them!  Many months ago I decided I would start buying cheap wood frames at the local WM in twos or threes each month until I had all twelve!  My pocketbook hardly felt a thing!  So then, several moons later they have arrived up on my wall(thanks to a suction cup laser level wielding husband) in the dining room.  YEAHH!  My kikies!  

I just realized I would have the most ultimately boring  show on HGTV. "And now it's time for 'Wait to Decorate' -with your host, The Laxadazical Shan!  Oh, she's sleeping?  Tune in next time to see if Shan makes us 'Wait to Decorate'.  That girl's slow as Molasses." 

But, I am happy to stare at my wall-o-cats, and I do feel like I may even up the pace on my next project.  I don't know though, sometimes it's best not to rush in.  I'm no fool after all. 

Dogwoodsing around

I've been neglecting my own site again with all of my traipsing about, so I have come to share my weekend in photos.  Wouldn't it be a more perfect world if I could whip out a handicapped blogger sticker and suddenly the photo would park right where I wanted it to instead of always loading on top?  Say....maybe I could go from back to front and start posting in opposite order and plug in the words later....yes, yeeess.  Ok then, I'll pretend like I'm reading a magazine because for some reason I tend to go at those backwards....  

Oh sorry, are you still reading?  On with the photos!

What does that guy symbolize to the people of my town?  No, not Howard's End, but good guess.  He is our very own Amish version of Anthony Hopkins who comes to town once a year to stir up some delicious kettle korn for the many thousands of tourists visiting Siloam Springs for the Dogwood festival.  Sure, there are other staples at the festival each year, but none have quite the flair of Sir Anthony stirring up the corn.

 Unless you were to consider the local performers. 

 Our Ratchet and his Tae-Kwon-Do group showed us some of their moves and here he can be seen kickin' it to the man!  "The man" in this case is Casey, my BFF Becky's husband who was kind enough to be kicked at repeatedly by all the various dangerous feet on showcase. 

The crowd seemed almost horrified at all the violent board breaking ;)

And so, on to a gentler prettier act with Becky's daughter clogging her heart out to some country music and looking as effortless as they come.  I took this part in video but alas, it goes beyond my skills to share moving pictures.

Somewhere in the middle of the clogging they invited the audience children to come up and dance and my cool young Ratchet sauntered up(restraining a run) and gave a few efforts toward clogging.  Then, suddenly he whips out the worm and gives everyone a surprise!  I knew it was all he could do to hold back the full Travolta! :D BaHA!

And since I'm making it sound like the whole festival revolved around my family and friends, here we are.

Here's the young version of Beck and I that get along every bit as well as the originals in the next picture.  

There was only one good day for the festival this year as Friday it rained and Sunday it was pretty cold, but we made the most of Saturday and took it all in tourist style!

 Hope you enjoyed this small trip to my town as well! I'll finish this post in photos with one last picture of a guy who pulled up as we were leaving. He mistook the festival to be a woods for dogs instead. Oh well, there were plenty of other canines there feeling just as duped.

HAPPY MONDAY ALL!!! 

Pause for Station Identification...

Ok, guys and gals.  I don't have much awake time left in my day today so I'm gonna make this a quickie.  It's time once again for me to  take off the old comfy sweatshirt hoodie and hang it back in the closet, because THE PURPLE PIMP JACKET is coming out again!  OH YEAH!! 

 It's time to take a gander at my husbands music site.  And your gonna want to look long and hard because he's got about 50 songs on there that he has constructed in the confines of his tiny studio right above me, entirely alone!

I know. You're wondering what it would take to outfit yourself  in this sweet sweet ride of digital musicality.  But the thing is IT'S  $$$ FREE!!  I'm not gonna charge you a shiny penny for any amount of downloads you embark on.  And don't worry if your tastes lean in a limited direction.  Jamey has M.M.P.D  (Multiple music personality disorder), so he spans the gamut from techno to acoustic- all the way to hand raising praise music.  THE CHOICE IS YOURS for the mixin' Maestro!  Can I call you Maestro?  

So take a look  and see what the husby is made of at: JAMEYCLAY.COM

They're COMING!!!!

Oooh, it's a dark and gloomy Tuesday morning and I just had a quick scare.  It is the season of Spring that gets me on edge.  What was that?  Oh, I thought that piece of fuzz in the corner was a spider.  WAIT!   I just blew on it and it IS!!  Oh man, here we go! 

 

That was just one reenactment of how Spring recently started for me.  Oh sure, I love the flowers in full bloom on the trees outside my house.  I love that little glimmer of interest I get in gardening when the weather is perfectly temperate.  I love taking the kids to the park leisurely glancing over my book at them as one continually rescues the other from a perilous hanging from high places on the jungle gym, feet scrambling and screaming.  Oh the pure bliss of fresh air and outdoors and silly offspring!  *INHALE*

But then there ARE those bugs.  First it's the flies.  Then a butterfly or two-but who doesn't like those really? Now, my nemesis the grasshopper has arrived back in town. I know this because one almost caused me to make a scene in the entrance at Wal-Mart yesterday as I started to barrel in for groceries.  There HE was, as long as my middle finger and just as vicious a gesture, daring me to cart around him on either side.  I didn't have the proper birth I needed to safely pass him so I froze abruptly.  And just stared, wondering if we could go yet another day without groceries.  Then, I looked around to see if  anyone was taking notice of my dilemma.  Sadly, I mean, ahem, fortunately, no one shared my quandary.  So I slowly backed the cart away from the hideous stiff backed mirador and went in front of the checkers clearly shaken that even my fluorescent lit "indoors" is no reprieve from the creachsters of Spring.

 But alas, when it's time for the spiders to rear their ugly heads and head  right into my house, there really is no safety for Shan anymore.  I'm on edge and I'm wearing shoes(and maybe gloves)-at all times. 

 Last year at some point, and I don't know if Jamey believes me on this one, I had developed such a keen eye for spiders I could ALWAYS find one( my record was three at once-shiver) just sitting by the baseboards, ready to dart at first look.  And no, I'm not crazy I killed several of these such evil-doers myself out of desperation to escape their venomous clutches! 

You see here at my house, the ONLY spider that ever wants to actually live with us is the BROWN RECLUSE!  The same ROTyourFlesh RECLUSE that almost killed my hearty chihuahua a few years ago!  These are not the dear sweet Julia Robert's voiced Charlotte's that add personality(if you go for that sort of thing)to your garden.  Nope.  These are slightly more cupboard hiding and well...FLESH ROTTING!!  So I wear shoes because I want to keep my toes, as silly as it sounds. And, as soon as I see the second brown and ugly, I'm fogging the place-ECO or not!